Page 62 of The Truth of Our Past

His grip on my hair tightens as he slams into me with his other hand clenching my hip. The sound of our bodies crashing together fills the room. His fingers are going to leave marks and I shudder. I’m aroused by his marks on me, leaving part of himself behind on my body.

“You squeeze me so tight, teasing me. Fuck, your ass was meant to take me. And you take it so good. Watch yourself stretch around my cock.”

I thirst to breathe Alec’s air forever and never let go. Half the words coming out of my mouth are Swedish and the other half gibberish. Alec lets go of my hair, wraps his hand around my throat to pull me up to his chest, and I’m gone. With the change in the angle, his cock is stroking my prostate and my eyes roll back into my head.

Alec fucks me like a demon and holds me like I’m precious. It’s too much and I can’t hold back. “I’m going to come. Fuck me as long as you want.”

An unholy screech exits my mouth as Alec pulls out of me. He flips me onto my back and slams back into me as his body blankets mine. His kisses own my mouth. He owns me. Good or bad, better or worse, Alec owns me and there’s not a damn thing I can do to change it.

“Let me see your face when you come all over my cock,” Alec growls and pre-cum leaks between us. “Let go for me, Viking.”

My balls draw up. Again. And my eyes drift shut, riding the crest before my orgasm.

“Keep those beautiful blue eyes on me. Let me see how thoroughly I wreck you,” Alec demands and I obey, lost in the lust of his brown eyes. He fists my cock and orders, “Come.”

Lightning sears my body and my brain dissolves around the biggest hit of euphoria. Alec’s expression of rapture doubles the sensations. As ifhecan’t believe how good this is between us.

He fucks me through my tremors and I’m getting hard again. His dimples are half-formed with the realization, but his hips buck and he’s on the verge of coming. I’m torn between breathing in his moans with a kiss and watching his pleasure play out on his face.

Alec slams in deep and grinds, hitting my prostate and sending sparks through me. He bellows as he pulls out, tears off the condom, and comes all over my cock and drenches my abs.

“Von,” he whispers, rubbing his cum into my cock. Claiming it as his. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” His words are low and not meant for me to hear.

The moment unfolds and spreads between us, unsaid emotions building.

I don’t think I can get enough of him either. Ever.

Reality creeps in. This isn’t a love story. It’s a physical release. It’s mutual attraction. I might want forever with him, but it’s not possible––I’m leaving. I convince myself he doesn’t mean it. He’s clearly stated he doesn’t want a relationship.

It’s the lie I tell myself. And instead of facing the emotions bubbling up inside me, I channel Alec and say, “So round two, then.”

“Challenge accepted.” Alec laughs and drops his full weight on top of me.

“You liked it when I held you down.” I can’t keep the smugness from my voice as we recover. Alec likes control, and I don’t mind giving it to him. But there’s satisfaction in him asking for me to be in control. A rarity I don’t take for granted.

Alec throws an arm over his eyes.

I could watch him breathe all day. Sex has never been this good with anyone else—man or woman. It’s beyond the physical. I want to crawl inside his head and know every thought running through his brain.

“I really need to google Swedish swearwords so I can call you an asshole in your own language.” His words are breezy with a smile as I trace the tattoos on his forearm, hoping for verbal confirmation that he liked it. “I felt safe,” he mumbles into his arm.

For a split second, my body goes rigid with fear. I can’t assume he always feels safe with me when I push him out of his comfort zone. I continue to stroke his arm and let our breathing slow. We’re in a heap, so I stretch out, using my body to bracket his. A need to create safety and security for him.

“Please explain,” I whisper. “Did I ever do anything to make you feel unsafe?”

Alec surges up, draping his chest over mine so we’re face to face. “No, Von. Never. I didn’t mean to imply that.”

“You didn’t,” I say and Alec drops so we’re sharing the pillow, bodies connected. “But can you tell me more?” My need to know isn’t as important as his comfort.

Alec’s eyes flutter shut for a minute. “It’s one of the things I knew in the back of my mind but never thought about. The need to feel safe. As you can imagine, I feared for my safety growing up gay with pious bigoted parents. I had to hide who I was. Sneaking a kiss or copping a feel over clothes with some guy but always on the lookout for danger, the danger of getting caught. And then I went to college and tasted freedom. I was never out everywhere, but I didn’t have to hide.

“I let my guard down over Christmas break.” Alec pauses with a smirk. He’s clearly going for casual indifference but failing.

I hum so he knows I’m listening.

“Anyway, I met a guy on an app and my sister saw us grinding on each other against the side of a restaurant. She told my parents who disowned me and cut me off. Enter the casual hookup who wants to be my boyfriend, and I let him take care of me because it was that or be homeless. I should have chosen homeless, by the way.” Alec grimaces.

He’s told me some of this before, but I hope he’ll tell me the worst parts. The parts he doesn’t want to remember because they changed him and that pain is hard to heal from.

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