Page 79 of The Truth of Our Past

Hopeless Romantic by James TW

Iforce myself to turn away from the hope in Von’s eyes. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to stand by my decision.

“What the hell are you doing?” Em asks behind me.

I’m just trying to survive. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, but for me, it has to be this way. Long-distance relationships don’t last. I’m not good at regular relationships, so I can’t drag it out and lead him on.

I deluded myself into thinking I could be different with him. That we could be different and my expectations wouldn’t prove to be worthless.

The thought of Von moving on and finding another man––or a woman––heaves my stomach and I choke back bile. It will get worse pretending nothing is wrong with the distance between us. I’ll be suspicious and resentful, questioning his ability to be faithful. It will never work.

It’s better this way. The lie strangles me.

“Open it.” Em gestures, but I breeze by the crate. “He said it’s yours.”

“Nothing he can give me will change the fact that he’s gone.” I force my voice to sound casual. I know Von made something for me.

If I open it, my heart won’t survive.

“Then I’m opening it.” Em steps toward the crate and I lunge for him. He easily slides out of my grip. “Why do you care? You let the best thing that ever happened to you get on a fucking plane.” He sounds just as heartbroken as me.

“I didn’t let him get on a plane. He had to leave and there’s nothing I can do.” I’m terrified to see what’s in the crate. I can’t face the end of what we had together.

“You of all people should know not to throw away someone who loves you. That man looks at you like you’re the fucking sun in the sky,” Emmett yells, far too upset.

The door dings and Mads and Jayce step into the shop.

“If this is an intervention, don’t bother,” I growl.

“I thought you had the day off.” Mads blushes. “We came to see Emmett.” Her eyes stay on Em.

Em is breathing heavily through his nose and the energy between the three of them confirms his reaction isn’t about me or Von. “Fuck it.” He turns on his heel and strides out the door.

Mads and Jayce exchange worried glances, torn between going after Em and staying with me.

“Go.” I wave my hand and take a wide berth around the crate on the floor to sit behind the counter.

Mads bites her lip and sighs. “Did you talk to Von before he left?”

“Nope.” I don’t need any of her judgment or motherly concern to fix my life.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and that hits my heart like a sledgehammer.

I don’t trust my voice, so I randomly click the mouse and feign working on the computer.

“I’ll give you guys some privacy.” Jayce kisses Mads and leaves. He obviously wants to go after Em.

Mads circles the counter and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so sorry. I feel responsible. I swear I filled out the paperwork correctly. I don’t know why he had to leave. It’s not fair.”

“But he wasn’t staying long term. We were always doomed.”

“Three years is a long time,” she whispers.

I shrug.

“Three years ago, my life was going in a totally different direction. It’s been hell, you know it has, but in the long run, it’s going to be better.” Her head rests on my shoulder and it’s so familiar, comforting.

“How can you believe that?”

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