Page 15 of The Truth of Our Secrets

“I understand you’re upset, but it might not be serious.”

“Of course it’s serious,” she snaps. “Alec doesn’t do repeats. He has a type and Von isn’t it. I knew when I first saw them together at the gallery that he’ll hurt Alec. Von’s going to break his heart. Alec’s heart won’t survive.” She cries, “I’m so scared for him.”

“Are you sure that’s what this is about?” I’ve avoided this topic almost since we met, but I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t always be second to the guy she can’t have.

“What do you mean? I can’t knowingly let Von break Alec’s heart.” Her sad green eyes blink up at me as I tuck her hair behind her ear.

“You told me years ago, it’s more than that. I thought I could live with it. But it’s killing me. Let him go. It’s not good for you.” I stand and pace like a caged animal. She has to pick me. She can’t pick Alec. That would be insane.

I bark out a hoarse laugh. It would be my fault if she picks him.

“Love.” She stands and takes my hand. “What are you talking about?”

The words I’ve been holding back for years rush out. “You’re in love with Alec, but you can’t have him. And you said years ago that Emmet reminds you of Alec. That’s why you want Emmet. Alec will never be in our bed, but there’s a chance you can have Emmet,” I yell. The words sound as vile as they taste.

She bursts out laughing. “Have you lost your mind?! Have you been drinking?”

I glare down and the smile slides off her face.

“Oh. My. God. You think that’s true. All this time. You think I love Alec?”

“You do love Alec,” I shout loud enough for an echo. Sinking onto the love seat, I drop my head in my palms.

“Look at me. I need you to hear me.” She pauses until I lift my head.

“I love Alec. Like. A. Brother. I will always love him, but I never, at any point in my life, loved him romantically. When we were in middle school, I had a crush on him for five seconds and we kissed. But he didn’t talk to me for a month, then confessed he’s gay. That month sucked, but he became my best friend. Only a friend. Never romantic feelings.”

“But you dated him in high school,” I accuse.

“I told you we fake dated.”

“He used you as his beard and led you on.” I’m confused. Certain of the facts.

“That is so far from the truth.” She scoffs.

“If he didn’t lead you on, he used you. You said it was his idea.” Her words don’t match what I know to be true.

She inhales and chokes on a sob. My formidable wife crumbles in front of me. I’ve never seen a person look physically crushed by the weight of their emotions.

“Baby Girl.”

“I don’t want to tell you. It’s too hard.” She hangs her head.

I have to know what happened. I can’t lose her. She means everything to me.

“Please talk to me.” Not having answers is killing me.

Her quiet sobs break me. I’m a monster who yells and scares her. I’m my worst nightmare. I’ve become exactly who I swore I’d never be. My father.

Keeping it all in didn’t make it go away. It turned me into someone Madyson’s afraid to talk to. Fuck.

“I’ll leave if you want.” My voice breaks. I stand and run my fingers through my hair. “We’ll talk when you’re not afraid of me.”

“Jayce.” She lunges and hugs me. “I’m always safe with you. This isn’t about you. It’s about me and my past and what you’ll think of me after.” She’s clinging to me, her tears running down my arm.

I pick her up and walk straight into the bathroom, setting her down on the vanity. Opening the glass door, I start the shower and test the temperature until it’s perfect. I strip, then take her clothes off. She watches me with wary eyes, and I don’t blame her.

Once we’re showered, I wrap her body in one towel and her hair in another. Then I carry her to bed and climb in behind her. Spooning so her back nestles against my front with one of my legs thrown over hers, I kiss her neck. This is her favorite position when she’s upset.

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