Page 30 of The Truth of Our Secrets

“Are you keeping her satisfied?” His voice drips with condescension.

“Fuck you.” It’s the best response I have right now. I regret the day I introduced Madyson to Peter. My second biggest mistake.

“Poor little cum slut must be starving.”

I see red and hang up the phone. With my head in my hands, I practice the same breathing technique I use for interviews. My heart races as my lunch curdles my stomach.

His goal is to make me doubt her. Make me doubt myself. I grew up with an alcoholic jealous father who constantly tried to undermine my self-worth and self-confidence. So much so that I didn’t notice that Peter did the same thing.

My father made me watch video clips of myself over and over while berating me and calling me homophobic slurs. I knew I couldn’t be an out pro hockey player.

It was so fucking normal to be abused that I didn’t recognize it for what it was. Peter used my fears against me.

I’ll always carry the guilt over seducing Madyson, getting her to trust me, and pulling her into a toxic relationship with Peter.

She’d been too afraid to speak out. It took me way too fucking long to catch on. I ignored his digs and comments about her and dismissed her flinches as nerves. Justifying her hesitancy as being new to a throuple.

It’s a mystery why she loves me after I allowed her to be hurt by Peter. I can’t ever let a man or woman hurt her again. Since I failed her, it’s my job to make it up to her and protect her. Her love showed me how toxic Peter could be. She loves me in ways I don’t deserve. It’s so pure and giving. She’s never demanded anything of me. Not even my love.

I want to give her everything she’s ever dreamed of.

But Peter makes me doubt I can do that. He said I wouldn’t be enough for her when I kicked him out of our lives. Said I’d never keep her satisfied. He refused to say her name. Spitting out the word “her” as if it were poisonous.

He’s the poisonous one.

I don’t believe Madyson would cheat. It’s not who she is. But his words are a hot iron in my gut. She loves being surrounded and filled by two men. We haven’t had another man in our bed in almost two years. We attempted to experiment with some hookups at a hotel, but we bailed. She hesitated, and I ended it.

She has to be a hundred percent sure for it to work.

I miss a man’s touch. Rough and out-of-control sex. But I don’t miss it enough to jeopardize my relationship with Madyson. She comes first.

I’m afraid of what Peter will do if I ignore him.

My eyes squeeze shut as I wonder if he’ll always have a hold on me.

He twists the facts until I can’t see the lie because it always holds a kernel of truth. It’s maddening to figure out which parts are the lie and which are the truth.

He has the power to hurt her and make her doubt me.

She didn’t believe I’d force him to leave after he refused. Peter had mistakenly thought I’d always choose him. But the more time I spent with Madyson, I knew she was my first choice.

For the rest of my life, I will choose Madyson and protect her.

Madyson

The conversation to confront my assistant terrifies me, but Emmet and I have practiced what I’ll say, so I’m prepared. The gallery’s quiet and on the other side of the glass wall of my office, my assistant sits on a couch scrolling on her phone. She’s not even pretending to work.

Emmet encouraged me to go through my records and she hasn’t been holding up her end of the contract. She doesn’t work the required hours to use the workshop. She either calls out or leaves every shift early.

I’ve been more than reasonable, but she’s taken advantage of my kindness.

Nobody mistook my kindness for weakness because it’s truly a weakness.

I debate putting off this conversation, but Emmet will ask about it. He faces things head-on. He’s brave in a way I’m not and I’d rather not disappoint him. If he can deal with his problems, I can have one uncomfortable conversation.

My phone pings.

Daddy: I love you

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