Page 20 of Misconduct Zone

My heart cracks, and once again, I will not leave him in despair. I take off my shoes and prop myself up against the headboard. “Caleb thinks he’s going to win my money in a poker game.”

Dylon barks out a laugh. “The guy who can’t hide a single emotion is going to best Stone Face Dragon Drake? I don’t think so.”

We ramble on about nothing, and when I think he’s finally fallen asleep, Dylon says, “I hope I didn’t ruin our friendship.”

The crack in my heart bursts wide open. “I’m anarsle. You took me by surprise, and I wasn’t a good friend. If it helps, I am bi, and I’m here if you have any questions.” The last thing on my mind is giving him advice about his attraction to other people, but I have to stop hoping for more.

Dylon turns his entire body to face me, clears his throat, and speaks at a volume as if I’m in the next room. “Did you know a statistically significant population of male rams only mate with other males, and all bighorn rams, even if they mate with ewes, engage in anal sex with other rams?”

Occasionally, he blurts out random animal facts when he nervously tries to get a point across but doesn’t have the right words. His hazel eyes dully reflect his anxiety.

“I did not know that. Are you comparing yourself to a bighorn ram?” He closes his eyes in response to my ridiculous question. I’m failing him, again. My head’s fuzzy, and I cannot focus on what’s important—supporting him and whoever makes him happy. Even if it’s not me.

“No. That was stupid. Maybe.” He sighs. “I’m very attracted to a guy, and I’m not afraid of it. I guess I’m surprised how long it took for me to understand my interest.”

My head bobbles, but words aren’t forthcoming to ease the tension in either of us.

He bites his lips. “But seriously, thank you. I assume you’re not out.”

I shrug in agreement. “It is hard being in the public eye, but I can help you decide what is best for you.” I remind myself that I am his friend, and it is not the time to throw myself at him and confess my unrequited devotion. He hasto be comfortable with himself before beginning a relationship. Which we will not have because he views me as his friend.

“You wanna help me deal with myhardproblem.” He emphasizes the word hard, and my eyes dart to his dick.

My face must be bright red with the heat flaming up. Licking my lips, I internally scold myself. This is the least helpful way to reassure a friend. I’m a creepyskit. Rigidly, I stay in place, not averting my gaze, and push down my embarrassment so I can be what he needs me to be.

“I’m just kidding.” He flops back and stares at the ceiling.

“It took me a while to admit to myself I’m bi. Being a professional athlete, it isn’t like we can go out anonymously and explore our options.” I wipe my sweaty hands on my team joggers.

“What did you do? Did you ever have a boyfriend?”

Thoughts of Boe are no longer a stab to the heart but an uncomfortable roil in my gut. Dylon doesn’t need all the twisted details. “I watched gay porn and decided I definitely wanted to try those things. But I couldn’t act on them with someone I couldn’t trust. My first experience with a man was in the Red Light District in Amsterdam.” My admission springs from my mouth. I haven’t told anyone this.

Dylon whistles. “I did not see that coming. If this were a Jeopardy game and the category was which teammate hired a prostitute in Amsterdam, I’d bet all my money and lose.”

“Does that bother you?” The band around my chest tightens again, cutting off my supply of oxygen.

“Nah. It’s surprising. Probably the way you felt when I announced I’m not straight.” He waves jazz hands at me as his dimple appears. “I think I’m bi, but I haven’t done research on other labels.”

“Labels are only important if you are trying to place one on yourself, otherwise do not stress about it. And to be clear, they’re sex workers, not prostitutes. Get with the times.” I toss a pillow at him, and he bats it down in the space between the beds. Feigning nonchalance turns my stomach in knots. I’m happy I didn’t eat the cake.

We lie on separate beds in silence for an eternity. There are so many things I want to know, but this is not about me, and I refuse to act insensitively. I am desperate to know who he’s interested in and what prompted his realization. Dylon shares so much of himself that he’ll tell me when he’s ready.

Our eyes lock, and his magnetic force tugs at me, body and soul. The air charges and becomes a living, breathing entity surrounding us. There’s no one else but him. My world has funneled down to the sparkle in his eyes and his tongue running across his bottom lip.

The strong pull could levitate me off the bed and into his. My cock thickens, and there’s nowhere to hide it. He glances down and licks his lips again. The man who does not get embarrassed has pink ears.

“I will let you get back to sleep.” I roll off the bed on the opposite side, which, thank the hockey gods, is closest to the door.

He moves behind me, but my feet propel me forward. When I reach for the handle, his palm lands on the door by my waist.

“Wait,” he says. My feet stay planted, hiding my erection. “Lars,” he whispers, his breath washing over my neck. “Look at me.”

I glance over my shoulder at his pleading expression and face him eye to eye.

“Tell me if I’m out of line.” His chest heaves and brushes against mine. We’re so close he can hear my intake of breath. The arm next to me shifts so he’s touching me. “The thing is…the guy I’m attracted to is… you,” he murmurs as he closes the distance between us and presses his lips to mine. “Am I out of line?” he asks, his mouth moving against mine.

All the control I’ve meticulously practiced snaps. One hand holds the back of his head, and I spin us so his back hits the door with a thud. And we’re kissing. He opens, inviting my tongue in, and he tastes like home. If a kiss could encompass the crisp air of Sweden, watching the northern lights, coming back to the apartment to see all the evidence of Dylon living with me, the way my heart picks up when I smell his musky scent under his coconut-lime body wash, and the way his dimple appears for me, that is this kiss and more. His curls are baby soft as my fingers knot through them. His hard chest throbs with his heartbeat as fast as mine.

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