Page 30 of Penalty Zone

He uses the wall to push me back and give himself space to escape. “I’m sorry,” I call after him. “I shouldn’t have done that.” I don’t know if he heard me as he rushes down the tunnel away from me.

Anyone who saw us would think I’m a predator because I’m his mentor. There’s an unspoken rule about not getting involvedwith him. It’s highly unlikely I’ll continue a career in hockey if I sleep with a man I’m in charge of.

No one would ever describe me as innocent or virtuous, but I thought I had a solid moral code. I thought I could control my unseemly lust. He’s young enough to be… My stomach and heart lurch at the same time, revolting at the thought.

The ice keeps me frozen in place. I’ve gone too far and don’t know how to go back.

Worst of all, I don’t want to go back.

I want Caleb.

Caleb

A dang Dickens quote comes to mind, and I hate that I understand it now. Something about the best and worst of times. That seems stupid and impossible, but I get it.

That kiss was the single best thing in my life. Better than getting drafted. Better than helping the team make it to the final series last year. Leo’s instant regret guts me.

I’m showering and the suds are clear, but it feels like there should be rivers of blood, my heart pumping it out of all the shattered pieces. So stupid to think he wanted me.

Leo had been so close and staring at my lips, and when I closed the distance, he kissed me back. Or I thought he kissed me too.

Maybe I held him hostage. The pain on his face churns my stomach, and my lunch roils around like it might come back up.

The kiss lingers on my lips as I touch them to see if it was real. They’re puffy and probably red. He held my head in place to own my mouth but gentle enough to weaken my knees. In the moment, I felt cherished and wanted—like he couldn’t getenough of me. We kissed longer than I’ve ever kissed another person. He tasted like coffee, mint, and Leo.

I’m not sure how to categorize his unique taste. The word luxury comes to mind even though it’s not a taste. Sensual is my next thought, and it thrills me.

Kissing Leo used to be a forbidden fantasy, but reality is so much better. His groan vibrated through my entire body, setting my nerve endings on fire. The tips of his fingers pressed into my skull with possession, and I answered by melting into him.

Leo loves control, and I crave someone dominating me. If I could build the perfect man, it would be Leo. Physically, he’s my type, but it’s more than that.

He’s stubborn and competitive, which makes him a challenge. But he’s also open-minded and willing to admit when he’s wrong. He knows he’s made huge mistakes with Mason and is actively working to fix them. I’ve seen so many people say sorry but not put action behind their apology. Leo doesn’t give up even when Mason doesn’t respond. I admire that.

I am living in delulu land.

Leo’s worldly and sophisticated, and I’m a mess of nerves and homeopathic treatments. He’ll probably think my use of crystals is insane.

I let the hot water run over my back.

Upside: now I know how Leo kisses, and I can die a happy man. Downside: I know how easily Leo commands me, and I’ll never have it again.

Melodramatic party of one.

Of course, Leo looked horrified after our kiss. I threw myself at him after demanding his attention in a race. Totally juvenile. I can only imagine his guilt. I won’t make it worse by begging for more or expecting to talk about it.

We can pretend it never happened. That’s probably for the best for everyone. I double over to catch my breath. Really, it will be fine. If I keep thinking it, I’ll manifest it.

Everyone else has left, except the equipment manager. I would sulk in here all day, but I know he won’t leave until I do.

Then it hits me. I have to go home and face Mason. As bad as I want his dad, I’m terrified my best friend will hate me. They are starting to get along. Leo has kept every one of his promises to see Mason and has directed all press questions back to him, saying he’s extremely proud of his son. Mason’s giving him a chance, and Leo’s not blowing it.

It’s better that Leo regrets our kiss. We can’t do it again.

That’s a gosh darn shame.

I’ll never be kissed again the way Leo kissed me.

Chapter 14

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