Page 64 of Penalty Zone

Chapter 28

Caleb

An unfamiliar alarm drags me from sleep, and I swing my arm frantically to get it to shut up.

“Shhh.” Leo kisses the back of my neck, and I’m a hundred percent awake now. His leg is thrown over mine, and he hugs my torso before rolling away to stop the incessant noise. “How did you sleep?” He takes me back in his arms and nuzzles my hair.

Last night exceeded all my whimsical and wild expectations for sex. I will never regret giving Leo my virginity, and I wish upon a sex god that his cum still lives inside me. He treated me with a perfect blend of tenderness and aggression, like he had access to a blueprint of exactly what my body responds to. It was an experience men write poetry about.

For the first time in my life, I’m furious about sleeping soundly. I missed being wrapped up by Leo all night long. I’m not sure how many nights we’ll have together, and I slept like a bonehead with nothing better to do.

“Fine,” I say, and hear the frustration in my voice.

Leo easily moves me so we’re facing each other, and he scans my face. “You don’t sound fine.”

I will my facial muscles into a smile because it’ll kill me if he regrets the night he spent with me, and I refuse to be a stage-five clinger. “An alarm this early isn’t my favorite way to wake up.” It’s not even a lie since it has to be early so Mason doesn’t catch us.

He’s been so honest about us, and I hope he confesses the sex wasn’t a one and done.

Leo’s aura is murky when he leans in and kisses me. Tears spring into my eyes without permission, and I focus on Leo’s lips to console myself. The signs point to it being our goodbye kiss.

He cradles my head like I’m precious to him, while my fingers dig into his biceps. After a few minutes, he pulls back, and a pathetic sound breaks free from my chest.

“I know.” Leo cups my jaw and rests his forehead on mine. “You’ll always be my Baby Doll.” He sighs and places a chaste kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I pretend my heart isn’t dissolving into a puddle. His thank-you sounds like the end, a finality of what we had. I’m clinging to every word, searching for one that tells me he can’t live without me. Or, at the very least, isn’t ready to let me go.

“You’re extraordinary, and you’ve brought joy back into my life.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” I raise an eyebrow at my joke to cover my disappointment. I’m the one who begged for the night with him. This isn’t a brush-off, it’s exactly what we agreed to. I have to pull up my big boy panties and act like I can handle a one-night stand with a man I’m obsessed with.

Leo scowls. “Don’t ever forget your worth.” He heaves himself out of bed, leaving me cold and confused.

I can’t ask what he means because I don’t trust my voice or what will come out of my mouth. This is not the time to blurt outwhat’s actually going on in my brain and do something stupid like beg him to stay or worse, be with me forever.

He pulls on his boxers and a pair of sweats. “I got clothes in case of an emergency,” he answers my unasked question.

Of course, he planned ahead and thought this through. He probably has an excuse ready if Mason were to call for him right now.

Leo looks conflicted when he drags me to him for one last kiss.

“Goodbye,” I whisper.

“It’s not goodbye.” He kisses me fiercely and disappears from my room.

There’s no way I’ll fall back asleep, but showering will erase Leo’s smell. I wish I could bottle it and wear him all the time. A masochist here for the torture and prolonging my suffering.

No one will ever be able to take away my memory of our night together, so it’s time to be grateful.

Unable to resist, I inhale the pillow Leo slept on and decide to take the cover as a souvenir. Don’t care that it’s juvenile and pathetic. It’s a piece of last night to keep. After I shove the pillowcase in my duffle, I shower and drown my sorrows like an adult.

Hockey won’t be an escape either. The drive home will be the perfect time to practice my poker face. I can’t give away my feelings to Leo and certainly not to Mason.

My brain is trying to find nuances of proof that he’s into me. Me. The guy who got on his knees and threw himself at him. Not many men would say no to no-strings-attached sex. I’m so delulu.

I cannot be in the same room with him and not give away the fact that I’m fixated on having his dick again.

Okay. Fine. He’s the entire package, but his dick is spectacular. I rub my sore hole, the only reminder of Leo being in there. Past Caleb had the crazy idea that once I had sex, it wouldn’t bea big deal to have it with someone else. Like I was putting so much pressure on the first time that once it was over, I’d feel differently.

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