Page 91 of Penalty Zone

“Aww, this is preparing me for years down the road when I have to take care of my drooling hus…man.” His voice went from teasing to panic.

If I could talk, I’d tell him not to worry about referring to me as his husband. Marriage is on the table. Before I can reach for the communication board, a nurse comes in to take my vitals.

Caleb grabs a new tablet off my table. “I’m dragging you into the twenty-first century. None of this old school mat board.” He sets the tablet on my bedside table.

“Lovie, I’m going to need your login info to set this up for you.” Caleb waits, fingers poised to type.

My heart skips a beat when he calls me Lovie, claiming me as his in front of the nurse. I motion for him to give it to me, and he leans in next to me as I enter my information. I learn by doing, otherwise I won’t remember.

Once it’s set, he downloads a couple of things. “These apps are type-to-voice so you can talk. And they have different voices.” He smirks and shows me the icon for one. “Let’s hear this.” Caleb bites his lip as he types.

A hospital gown has never looked so sexy, says the tablet in a British accent.

I’m reduced to rolling my eyes, but I really want to kiss him. He shows me how to use it for a while, but then gets serious.

“I won’t hold you to anything.” He takes my hand and rubs his thumb along my wrist. “I will never ask you to choose between me and Mason. If he can’t accept us and you change your mind, I’ll understand.”

Reflexively, I clench my jaw, and the pain overwhelms me. I dismiss his concern and grab the tablet to type.I’m not choosing. I love both of you.

He kisses my hand and changes the subject, talking until my eyes droop. No amount of determination can keep me awake.

It’s dark when I open my eyes, except for the glow of the lines on my machines. Someone closed the shade, blocking the city lights. Movement startles me.

“Hey, Dad, you awake?” Mason drags a chair closer to my bed.

The tablet’s within reach, so I ask him to turn on the light.

“That’s cool. They really hooked you up.” Mason flicks the light on, and I don’t correct his assumption that the hospital provided the tablet. I’m so thankful to have a voice to communicate with him.

I type in,Thanks for coming.

Mason flops in the chair and leans forward to rest his forehead on his arms on the side of my bed. “I’m so sorry. I hit you on purpose, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’d never try to do this.” He flings his arm, gesturing at my face.

The tablet says,I know.Him taking responsibility makes me optimistic for a reconciliation.

He jerks back. “What?”

There’s a pause between typing and the voice.You haven’t shot that wide on goal since you were seven.

“Fuck.” Mason sits up and scrubs a hand over his face. “I don’t know what came over me. I saw you walking toward Caleb, and it felt like you were replacing me. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s not an excuse.”

You’re my son. I will always love you, no matter who else is in my life.The tablet makes this easier, but it can’t convey my emotions.

“I know that, but I didn’t feel it. Caleb and I had a fight that turned into a good talk. He wasn’t going to leave me alone with you at first.” Mason sighs, and I raise an eyebrow for him to continue. “I was going to be mad no matter how I found out, but the visual and thinking about the two of you…” He trails off and shudders.

I’m sorry you found out that way. I understand you’re shocked and angry.I reach out, and he takes my hand.

“Dad, I fucked up so bad.” His voice cracks. “This is so hard, and on top of it, I might be fired.” His sorrow is palpable, but I forgave him before he came to see me.

The room’s quiet with the soft beeps from my machine and the tapping on the tablet.

Do you want to talk about Caleb or hockey?The voice now has a southern accent per Caleb’s tutoring session.

“Seriously?” Mason huffs. “Figures Caleb would give you a sense of humor.” His half smile is as encouraging as his understanding of who taught me to use this machine. Mason sits back, letting his arms dangle and tipping his head to stare at the ceiling. “I just lost it. Caleb never tried to meet you or asked about you. He was the one constant person in my life who was mine. It wasn’t right, but I felt betrayed. By both of you.”

I change the tablet back to a normal voice.I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you and didn’t protect you from people trying to use you.

“Other people’s intentions aren’t your fault. But I don’t understand, why him?” His eyes are full of pain when they meet mine.

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