Page 73 of First Verse

CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN

wilder

The thump of the door closing behind Lily jolts me like an electric shock. I want to follow her almost as much as I want to scoop Evangeline into my arms and kiss every inch of her blotchy, tear-stained face. My feet are likewise conflicted, remaining glued to the floor.

What happened?

Is she going to dump me?

Is it over?

I know she wanted more from me last night—starting with a different reaction to her apology—but I couldn’t give it to her. With my tolerance being almost nil from two weeks of abstinence, the Oxys took me the fuck out. Making my voice sound somewhat normal during our brief conversation was next-level difficult, and there was no way I could let her turn on a light. She would have taken one look at me and known I was loaded.

My anxiety climbs so high my voice shakes when I ask, “Is this about last night? I’m sorry, Fairy. I?—”

“No,” she says softly.

Instead of relaxing, my heart races even faster. I take a halting step toward her. “Then what’s wrong? Did someone—is your family okay?”

She stands up fast. “No! I meanyes, everyone’s fine.” A brief, breathless laugh leaves her, and she rubs her already flushed face. She mumbles, “God, I wish you weren’t seeing me like this. I’m a total mess.”

I speak without thinking. “I love you messy.”

Evangeline’s head whips up, her eyes huge and unblinking. A second later, I realize what I said. But there’s no panic.

Fuck it.

“I love you messy,” I repeat as I cross the living room. My eyes absorb every inch of her: crazy hair in a listing bun, swollen eyes, baggy sweatpants, two different-colored socks, and an oversized green sweatshirt with a bleach stain on the hem and tear marks on the shoulders.

Her beauty is both suffocating and replenishing. I can’t breathe—the only air I need is her.

Stopping a few feet away, I hold her gaze until I lose sight of everything else. Until there’s nothing in the infinite span of the universe but us.

Her rapid breaths.

The fear and hope in her eyes.

My heart—her heart.

“I love every version of you, Evangeline. Happy, angry, stubborn, bossy, sad, tired, embarrassed, nervous… it doesn’t matter. Whatever you are, I love it, because I’m hopelessly in love with you. I know my timing, as usual, is completely fucked, but it’s the truth and I’m not going to cheapen it by pretending that was a slip of the tongue.”

She trembles before me, eyes glassy with tears. I have no clue if she’s about to say the words back to me or throw me out. In this moment, I don’t care. Whatever she decides to do with my deformed heart, she deserves to know the truth inside it.

Her lips part on a swift inhale. Then she blinks several times and says the absolute last thing I expect to hear.

“I’m afraid of the dark.”

I dig my nails into my palms so I don’t reach for her. It’s not the declaration of love I was hoping for, but I know how hard those words were to say. How vulnerable she feels right now.

“I know, baby.”

“I’m not talking about a few nightlights.” At my lifted brows, her lips twitch. “Okay, more than a few nightlights. But it’s deeper than that. It’s also about the people who are closest to me. That’s why I asked you to turn on the light last night. I needed to see you, to talk to you, and when I couldn’t… you became the dark I couldn’t find my way out of.”

There’s no controlling my full-body recoil.

Evangeline gasps. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I croak.

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