Page 91 of First Verse

He turns and walks down the hallway toward the stairs. Muscle memory takes over, operating my body for me. Eddie gives me a wobbly smile as I pass him. Zander keeps his head down.

One step. Five steps. Ten. Down the hallway to the end.

Wilder’s bedroom door is cracked. Voices come from inside. Kendra’s. His.

Jax grabs my sweaty hand and pulls me to the wall beside the door.

“—really believed you’d snap out of it, Wild, but I’m done waiting. You have to choose. Me or her.”

“Her.”

Kendra laughs shortly. “What happens when she finds out, huh? You think Miss Perfect will accept this?” A weird, rattling sound follows.

Wilder sighs. “No, I don’t.”

A foot stomps. “Then why are you torturing yourself? Torturing me?”

“For the last time, this isn’t about you. If you want out, fine. I’ll find someone else.”

She sniffles, her voice softening. “Do you really feel nothing for me?”

“I’m not doing this with you again. You don’t love me, Kendra. You only think you do.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel!”

Wilder groans. “Just go.”

“I was your girlfriend for over six months. I kept your secret and protected you from everyone trying to pull you down.” She laughs again, low and caustic. “You think she’ll protect you? Lie for you? No fucking way.”

“This conversation is over.”

There’s a loud slap, then Kendra bursts into tears. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. I don’t understand. Make it make sense, Wilder. Please.”

“You’ll never understand,” he says tiredly.

There’s a long pause.

“You’re right,” she finally says, her cutting tone disturbingly at odds with her tearful outcry of seconds ago. “I’ll never understand you throwing me away for a snotty, virginal bitch who’sso fucking stupidshe can’t tell you’re a full-blown junkie. Find another supplier for your Oxy, Wilder. I’m done with you.”

If he replies, I don’t hear it over the high frequency sound of my heart being cleaved down the middle. My knees give out. Jax’s arm bands around my waist, his quick reflexes all that save me from hitting the floor.

The bedroom door swings open and Kendra strides out. She jerks to a stop at the sight of us, her mascara-ringed eyes widening with shock. Just as fast, they narrow, gleaming. A slow, vindictive smile curves her lips.

“Whoopsie,” she whispers.

Flipping long, dark hair over a shoulder, she sashays down the hallway and out of sight.

Full-blown junkie.

My dad was right. And Kendra was right, too—I’m so fucking stupid. My hands curl into fists. Dimly, I register pain signals as my nails cut into my palms.

I defended him to my parents, to Lily. Spent weeks suffocating my own instincts in order to trust him. Tormented myself with self-doubts. Convinced myself I was the problem.

Nothing was real.

“Do you want me to stay?” Jax murmurs.

I shake my head and straighten. His arm falls away as I face the open doorway. The curtains in Wilder’s bedroom are pulled aside. Sunlight fills the room, but I don’t see or feel it. I’m a vortex of dark, bitter cold. But I’m not afraid.

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