Page 8 of A Beary Merry Christmas

Shaking his head in acknowledgement, he patiently waited for me to buckle up. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Lora. Drive safe.” He waved farewell before he closed the door.

Starting my car again, I once again blasted the heat. With a wave, I pulled back onto the road, more confident this time. Within a few minutes, I parked in one of the appropriated spots of the small parking lot outside of Beast Mode.

Looking through my windshield, I studied the scene. The brick building was larger than I expected, yet not as big as some of the gyms in my area. The letters mounted on the front of the building spelled out the establishment’s name. ‘Beast’ was in clean, solid orange, and ‘Mode’ was in white. Between the two words was a ferocious looking bear head, his teeth bared, embodying the first word perfectly. A single line of well-trimmed shrubs lined the narrow space between the building and the sidewalk.

Meeting Nate had been unexpected, but learning that at least part of Stone’s story was true made me feel better, lightened the weight currently sitting on my chest. Realizing that he wasn’t a closet fat lover had me relaxing a bit, some of my queasiness subsiding.

The longer I peered at the gym’s exterior, the better I felt, the less stressed I became. Running into Nate changed things. Dare I say he had excitement slipping in amongst the unease? This whole time I’d been so negative. This entire trip, I’d steadily built the Berlin Wall, fully anticipating the worst. But what if the worst wasn’t coming? What if it was all in my head? What if Stone reacted to me as well, if not better, than Nate did?

I didn’t know what fate had in store for Stone and me yet, but being a Debbie Downer wasn’t improving the situation. It was only turning me into someone I’d never been: bitter. Yes, I’d been burned; I’d been hurt and tossed aside like I was worthless, but I’d never allowed it to make me bitter. I’d never put the inconsiderate mistakes of others on anyone else.

Stone made a mistake last night in waiting till the last minute, but he messaged me this morning and he agreed to meet me now. He wasn’t walking away yet, so why was I planning to?

Sharon was right. I could give Stone forty-eight hours. He’d made me happy, proven my happiness mattered these last few months. The least I could do was pretend his mattered, too. There was no denying the change in his voice when I asked to meet him today.

If I was honest with myself, I was prepared to walk away now because I knew it would hurt ten times more to do it later. It was self-preservation at its best. In three months and not a single meeting, I’d grown to care about him on a deep level, one that had me acting out of character and spontaneously driving forty-five minutes for a chance to see him finally.

And that was why I did it. I could erect all of the walls I wanted, but I couldn’t lie to myself. I wanted him. I bought into the life with him that I pictured in my mind, that I dreamed about, that he shared dreaming about.

I wanted this, and that was reason enough to go for it. Worst case scenario, Nate was a wonderful reminder that there were other men, handsome, attractive men, who were interested in a full-figured woman like me.

If Stone wasn’t my prince charming, then I needed to celebrate. Because it meant, as wonderful as he’d been, the right man was going to be even better.

Checking my reflection in the rearview mirror, I took a deep breath. Shoving my keys and my unusable phone in my jacket’s pocket, I stepped out of my vehicle. Adjusting my layers briefly, I stared at the front door. The sticker on the glass read, ‘Beast Mode: Where beasts come to train.’ Something about the slogan made me smirk, probably because I knew, based on his photos, that Stone was a beast in the gym.

Shutting and locking my car, I strolled up to the entrance. Reaching for the handle, my heart began to pound in my chest. This was it. Fate was about to reveal itself. Three months of pictures, phone calls and text messages came down to these next few minutes.

Yanking the door open, I bit my lower lip, in awe of the space before me. My brows arched upwards as I stood frozen, looking around in utter shock. I never expected to be impressed by a gym. Shiny machinery wasn’t my thing, but, then again, neither were brawny, buff beefcakes.

It wasn’t what I’d pictured in my head. Everything was streamlined, modern, and clean, yet there was a certain warmth to it; it invited you in. Gray walls were what grounded the colorful design; it was bright yet not overpowering. The motivational quotes on the walls, each in a different color, tied in with the piping on the edges of the black equipment.

Walking inside, I was immediately greeted by a lean, young woman, no older than twenty. She was dressed in black workout pants that showed off her toned legs and pert derriere and a company t-shirt. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. I’d always heard male voices in the background. Naïvely, I wasn’t prepared for Stone to have a fit female on staff.

Coming towards me, she beamed at me, no judgment in her depths. “Hi. Welcome to Beast Mode. How can I help you today?” She was overly polite. Most people would have come off as fake being that cheery, but I could tell she was genuine, which only made me feel guiltier for judging her.

So often as a curvy woman, I assumed the world was judging me; I hated society for judging me. But I’d just done what I loathed to her. I assumed who she was as a person based on her size, and I assumed I wouldn’t like her.

Closing the distance between us, I mustered a polite, albeit guilt-laden, smile. “Hi. I’m here to see-”

“Me.” His voice had my heart thumping a rapid melody. “I’ve got it, Lana.”

The petite blonde’s gaze bounced between us before a sparkle appeared in her depths. Biting back a grin, she nodded her head. “Let’s hope you do.” She patted his chest encouragingly as she strode past him, back behind the circular black reception desk.

Gradually, I shifted my focus towards him. My breath hitched as I finally fully peered at him. He looked even better in person, a rarity in the dating world.

Thick, dark grey, cargo-style sweatpants hung perfectly off of his slim hips. A black Beast Mode t-shirt clung to his bulk, showcasing every inch of his chest and arms while simply gliding over his trim waistline. His brown hair was in slight disarray, exactly as it was in every photo I’d seen: carefree, fresh out of bed, sexy.

His nose was red, the first telltale sign of his cold, yet he was still handsome. His lips were pouty, but they had a hard edge that took away from their plumpness. A little more than a five o’clock shadow softened his sharp jawline and rounded out his just-rolled-out-of-bed style.

He inhaled deep, his gaze roaming me openly. “Damn. You look even better in person.” The grin that split his face, lighting his eyes, hit my heart like an arrow.

Abruptly, he threw his arms around me. “Hey, beautiful.”

I was caught off guard, momentarily stunned. It only took me a few seconds to recuperate and reciprocate his embrace, though. As I let go, as I sunk into his warmth, all of my stress melted away. There was something about him, about the way he held me. I couldn’t help but think about doing it again and again. It was difficult, nearly impossible really, to explain, but, somehow, it felt like I’d been in his arms before and was simply returning home again after a long journey. It felt right. He felt right. I swore I felt his heart beating atop mine, syncing with my own. His bulk seemed to fit perfectly around my plush edges. The way we locked together, like two puzzle pieces, was unexpected. He was unexpected.

Swallowing hard, I took a step back, unprepared for the emotions that welled within me. I hadn’t expected his strength to feel so amazing around me, so incredible. His embrace was reminiscent of a cocoon, with just enough constriction and just enough breathing room; just enough security and just enough wonderful.

Shaking myself mentally, I met his gaze. “Hey.” I felt my lips curl upwards into what was surely a goofy, gob smacked grin as I got lost in his honey brown depths.

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