Page 12 of Bear In Mind

A dull ache settled in my chest as I took him in.It was what I needed to see, to experience, though.Somehow, it strengthened my resolve.Never again.Never again would I give a man power over me in any capacity.“Thank you for last night.I really do appreciate it, but I’m… I’m not your child, Bear.I’m not your responsibility.You don’t owe me anything.”I slid on my shoes and picked up the gym bag.Taking a cautious step towards him, I placed my right hand on his chest, gently patting the center of it.“Thank you.”I met his gaze, assuring him of my sincerity.

When I went to step away, he snagged my hand.He closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths.His expression transformed from one of anger to that of pain, and it tore me up inside.I cared about him.Knowing he saved me only further endeared me to him, but I couldn’t do this.Being so close to him had hope attempting to bloom.Staying would only feed my fairytale and lead to a messier heartbreak.He didn’t want me and my excessive curves; he merely felt obligated to protect me, probably because, like me, he didn’t have a family.

I didn’t care why.My thoughts were overrun with fear.The professional lines were gone in his home, and that had me feeling weak.I wanted him.I wished I could just reach out, grab him and pull him down to kiss me.I craved the feel of him against me, the press of his hard to my soft, and that was dangerous.It was too easy to elaborate on my dreams now that I’d been in his bed.It was a rabbit hole I could fall down too easily this close to him, to every delicious inch of him.

Crap.I knew I liked him, but I didn’t realize how much until today.When had he grabbed hold of my heart so snugly?We’d barely scratched the surface in conversation at the coffee shop.

And that made this all the more dangerous.Despite saving me, he wasn’t safe for me.He could be a detriment far greater than Darren, and potentially as painful as the loss of my mother if I didn’t act now.My anxiety seemed to multiply.I needed to get away now.My hand itched to curl around his, to hold him in return.And that proved it.That proved just how weak I was, how perilous the situation was.

Suddenly, he let go of me, most of the tension falling away with my hand.“I’m sorry.”He looked straight at me.Taking a step back, he arched his hands, as if to stretch them.“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

When I didn’t reply, he pursed his lips, some of his upset returning.“Or you can use my phone to call someone.”

This was what I’d wanted: an escape option.It’s what I’d been on the verge of a panic attack for a minute ago.So why was my heart breaking, cracking and crumbling like I was losing my best friend?My chest clenched, my lungs constricted as I gazed silently at him.Regardless of what I chose, I knew things would never be the same again.I preferred to rip the Band-Aid off clean, in one strike, but I didn’t know his address.Somehow, it seemed easier to let him take me than to call Tiff and wait who knew how long for her to arrive.“If you wouldn’t mind taking me home, I’d appreciate it.”

Without hesitation, he nodded his head in agreement.He disappeared into his bedroom for a moment, returning with a pair of white sneakers on.Wordlessly, he took the gym bag from me, picked up his cell phone off of the island, snatched a set of keys off a rack mounted above the counter near the door, and led me to the garage.

The silence continued as he opened the passenger door and helped me in, checking that the buckle was secure before going around to his side.The hush remained all the way through town and even when he parked in front of my apartment building.

I half-expected him to immediately leap out and come to my side, but he didn’t.“Thanks, for everything.”I unbuckled.My heart fell slightly when he made no moves to help me.It wasn’t that I needed it, but it was nice being taken care of, even in the smallest of ways.Without realizing it, I’d already formed a dependency upon him.I’d allow him to fill this tiny hole that my mother used to, the space belonging to family.

He stared straight ahead out the windshield.He gripped the steering wheel harshly, his knuckles white as snow.A tick was visible in his jaw.He was angry.

Climbing out of the vehicle, I forced one foot in front of the other, not allowing myself to look back, no matter how badly I wanted to.

Walking up the stairs to my second floor unit, I dug in the bag until I found my keys.Stepping inside my apartment, I glanced around.Everything was the same, looked the same, and yet everything was different.

In a little over twelve hours, everything had changed.

Chapter Ten

Bryn

Without a cell phone, I had to resort to messaging Tiffany on social media.The first ten minutes were a full-on interrogation followed by a hundredare-you-sure-you’re-okay’s.She tried to come over, but I put her off.I wanted to wallow alone.There was no use bringing anyone else down with me.I doubted that she would stay away all day, but I had at least an hour to myself.

Closing my outdated laptop, I set it aside.Grabbing the remote, I was just about to turn on the TV when there was a knock on the door.Frowning, I stood and strolled towards the sound.It was too soon to be Tiff, but I wasn’t expecting anyone else.

Cracking the door, I peered out at the man.One look at him and I knew he was a friend of Bear’s.There was something in his appearance, in his tall, well-muscled frame that was reminiscent of the other’s I’d met in the coffee shop.It had me rethinking Bear’s shifter claim.

“Hi.”He thrust a hand towards me.“I’m Jake.I’m a friend of Bear’s, but I promise I come in peace.”He gave me a charming smile, revealing a dimple in his left cheek.

Opening the door wider, I hesitated for a moment before shaking his hand.“Bryn.”

He held up a coffee cup and a bag of what I could only assume was food.“Bear dropped this off for you.He said you hadn’t eaten.”

My gaze passed between the man and the breakfast he held.When I didn’t make a move for it, he adjusted his approach.

“Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time.You’re probably overwhelmed and confused.It’s a lot to take in, but just know, as his mate, he’ll never walk away from you.He can’t.”He set the food and drink on the ground at my feet.“I’ll be out here if you need anything.”He headed for the stairs.Pausing, he glanced back at me.“And, for the record, this is pure hell for him.He loves you, Bryn.”

My heart picked up its pace.Before hope could swell, anger bubbled seemingly from nowhere in side me.“He hardly knows me.”I smashed my lips together.

He considered me, giving a light nod of his head in understanding.“He knows you better than you think, and certainly better than you know him.”He lightly shrugged.“One of the advantages to being the shifter in the relationship.”

Hearing the words aloud caught me by surprise.“You- I mean…” I nipped my bottom lip.

His smile was easy, forgiving.“About twenty-five percent of Black Fall is shifter.We don’t exactly advertise.”He settled on the top step and whipped out his phone, effectively dismissing me.

Guilt slid through me.Had I been too hard on Bear?Had I over reacted?Had I let my mind skew reality, convince me to shut him out in a bid for self-preservation?

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