“Everything okay?”
“Aye. Just a minor job I can’t put off any longer.” Ian set the phone down and glanced at Phil’s plate, still half full. “Don’t finish that if you don’t feel like it.”
Philwantedto finish it. Ian had made it for him and it was actually really good, but his stomach was closed and the food had run cold by now.
“Do you think…” He trailed off, unsure whether it was impolite to ask. “Think you could pack it for me?”
All concern melted out of Ian’s features, morphing into a complacent grin. “Sure thing.”
He didn’t pack just Phil’s leftovers. He filled a large tupperware with all that was left in the pan as well, then placed it into a flowery fabric bag.
“Sandra sewed it for me,” he said, thrusting the bundle into Phil’s hand. “I want it back.”
“I will protect this bag with my own life.”
Ian’s grin ticked up on one side. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”
“No, I…” There were glimpses of sunlight outside. Phil could use soaking up some. “I’ll go by bike. I need some fresh air.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright.”
Ian turned on his heel and disappeared without another word, returning from his bedroom minutes later with a fancy-looking helmet and a beanie hat. He handed the helmet to Phil. “Your brains are no good splattered on the road.” There were a couple of scratches on the black surface, but, other than that, it was brand new. “Keep it, I’ve barely used it.”
“Thank you.” Phil promised himself he’d return it as soon as he got his own. It looked expensive.
Then Ian handed him the beanie.
“What about that?”
“You want to go out there with damp hair?At your age?”
Phil snapped a surly glower at him, but still snatched the beanie.
Backpack on his shoulders, helmet in place, he fetched his bike from Ian’s pick-up and thanked him one more time for the hospitality, then set Google Maps on his watch and headed home.
He made sure to make the most of the three miles between Govan and Fairlie Drive Park, keeping a leisurely speed to be able to take in and get acquainted with the surroundings. Acts as mundane as stopping at a traffic light or yielding to let people pass gave him an odd sense of fulfilment, as if that simple collection of actions made him more credible as a person. It’d been a while since he’d last willingly spent some time outdoors on his own justbecause. Glasgow had some beautiful views and plenty of greenery, its moderate chaos not even comparable to the madness of the streets in Chicago. It was indeed an anxiety-friendly environment, one that felt a lot more in tune with Phil’s soul than any other place he’d visited. There was that famous song that went‘You take the man out of the city, not the city out of the man’,but Phil was starting to believe that maybe he truly needed the city taken out of him.
He stopped at a bakery to buy something sweet he could share with Abby when she got home and came out with half a dozen brownies and a couple of free apple pie pockets just because‘his accent was lovely and he was so nice and handsome’.
He tied the bag to the handlebar and stilled while securing the knot.
He was doing it.
He wasexisting.
Out in the open, in the real world. Like a legit functioning adult.
The elation subsided when he rememberedwhyhe was so overflowing with life. He wasn’t so eager to surprise Abby with the brownies now. Had he bought them because he unconsciously knew he had to make up for something?
What was left of the elation crumbled away altogether. He couldn’t go home and just tell Abby‘Hey, I feel awesome because Ian just does that to me! Oh, by the way, he gave me a boner!’
Abby always tried so damn hard to make things good and easier for Phil, even when his behaviour didn’t make sense to her. She’d be thrilled, no doubt, to know he was doing so much better, whatever the reason. Phil was positive that if he’d told her he found joy in torturing people, she’d be willing to discuss options with him. He didn’t have the courage to tell her that the reason he was feeling so good and vigorous out of the blue was someone else’s positive influence.
When he got home, his nerves were rattling. He went for a run to try to blow off some steam, but it wasn’t enough, so he tackled the mountain of boxes stacked in the garage that still awaited unpacking next, and put everything away, leaving out only the things he knew Abby would want to take care of herself. Around 4 PM, when he started getting hungry, he conceded himself a break and warmed up the leftovers Ian had given him. They didn’t taste as good as they had in the morning, but he didn’t care.