Page 63 of Someone Like You

“It’s the only way.”

“It’s not theonlyway! It’syourway!” A vibration tainted Phil’s voice, panic mixed with anger. There was no other way and he knew it, unless he was ready to put his entire life on the line.

Ian crossed a foot over the other, the mud he’d collected at the cemetery melting away from the combat boots to form a dirty puddle on the pavement. He wished the rain could wash the soot out of his conscience, too.

“I’d do anything for you, Phil,” he said, wearing his heart on his sleeve like a heavy chain. “But I won’t cause any harm to Abigail.” He silenced Phil with a gloomy look before he could argue. “She was here first. She’s been by your side all along, faced the worst with you… She’s earned more love and respect than me.”

He received a nod, but it was a painfully contemptuous one.

“So this is what we’re doing here? Piling everything on a fucking scale to see who went through more shit for Phil? Wow. Doesn’t make me feel like a burden at all.” Phil rabidly kicked a chair, startling an old lady and her dog who were just strolling by. Ian felt that kick in his guts.

“Don’t twist my words,” he pleaded, but that didn’t placate Phil’s rage.

“I know what you’re saying. You’re saying she’s earnedmemore than you.”

“She has.”

“What I want doesn’t count?” There was impatience in Phil’s tone, but deeper than that, forced back behind it, something else was lurking. Something fragile and vulnerable and conflicted.

“And what is it that you want?” asked Ian. “A foot in two camps?”

Phil winced. “No.” Contrition tinged his expression. “Just to be honest with Abby, come what may.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “She’ll decide what to do with me.”

Abigail abandoning Phil was a circumstance Ian just couldn’t conceive. He barely knew her, but could tell how much they had in common, starting from an unsinkable determination to do what was best for him, and right now the best Ian could do for him was let him go.

“I don’t want to be anyone’sbasketball practice, Handsome.”

Thunder roared in the distance. A car sped by, splashing dirty water on the pavement. Phill stood there, pale as a ghost, watching Ian with flattened brows.

“I never asked you to be! I’d never do anything behind Abby’s back!”

And that’s why I love you.

Ian caught himself off guard with that thought.

He’d never said it back.

It was too late. Saying it now wouldn’t do anyone any favour.

In another life…

“You know we can’t go on like this.”

Phil stood in his face, the anger still there, but now submerged by petrifying dread. He fisted the lapels of Ian’s jacket. “Why do I feel like this is a goodbye speech?”

This was the memory Ian would have to live with: Phil’s desperation and the grief in his beautiful eyes as their last goodbye shattered his heart.

Ian couldn’t hug him, couldn’t kiss him, couldn’t tell him he loved him, but he couldn’t not reach up to take his cheek into his hand one last time. He caressed him fondly, soft skin and beard, the sharp cheekbone and the wrinkles fanning out of the corner of the eye. That adorable crooked nose was going to haunt his dreams until his dying day.

“I’ve always known you’re too shrewd for your own good.”

With tight lips, Phil nodded gravely, like he truly understood. “Maybe in another life fate was kinder to us.”

“It was kind enough to put you on my path. I’m not complainin’.”

“Can we at least… keep running together? Just running, no talking.”

“Like it was always supposed to be?”

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