Page 59 of His Build

All around him he heard the familiar sounds of the place he loved: the song of crickets, the soft brush of the grass in the meadow. This was his home. He could never leave it.

But it felt suddenly empty.

22

Lucy woke up to the sound of keys in the lock. She didn’t remember falling asleep, she’d just gone from sobbing uncontrollably to now. The music upstairs was still pumping. She couldn’t have been out that long. Her cheeks cracked under the dried salt water of her tears and her eyes were puffy, but she sat up, squinting at the door. Sadie stepped into the dark and hit the light switch just as Lucy called out her name.

Sadie screamed, dropping a paper bag full of groceries. Cans and produce burst through the split bag. A pack of eggs lay on its side, oozing over Lucy’s prized Turkish rug.

She barely noticed.

“Lucy!” Sadie cried, running over to her sister. “You’re back?! Oh my god, what’s wrong!”

She wrapped her arms around Lucy, who dissolved into more sobs.

“Lucy,” Sadie said again, her hands on her shoulders. She pushed her back so she could look into her eyes. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” Lucy said, her voice catching. “I’m totally fine.”

“You don’t sound fine, Luce. I haven’t heard you cry in years. Since we were kids, maybe.”

Lucy looked over at her baby sister. “I’m sorry for coming back early. I couldn’t be there anymore. I couldn’t be near… him.”

“Who?” Sadie’s eyes widened with alarm. “Did someone hurt you?”

Lucy almost laughed at the expression on Sadie’s face. That little vein on her temple that puffed out when she got mad was there, pulsing. She looked like she was going to murder someone.

Then Lucy did smile, and Sadie narrowed her eyes.

“Lucy, I swear to god, if you don’t tell me what happened—”

Lucy sighed and pulled one of her perfectly matching Turkish throw pillows out from behind her back and hugged it against her chest. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s so stupid. I don’t even care about him, he’s just—he just got under my skin.”

“Oh my god,” Sadie said. “It’s Graydon. You’re in love with him!”

“What?” Lucy said.

Someone out on the fire escape laughed—a shrill noise like a horse whinnying. It was something the sisters would have cracked up about under normal circumstances, but these weren’t normal circumstances. Sadie was practically giddy. Lucy threw the pillow at her face. “It’s not like that!” Sadie put both her hands up. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry I said anything. Why don’t you tell me what happened and I’ll tell you what you’re feeling?”

Lucy glared at her sister. “How would you know how I feel?”

“I mean, I have as good a chance of knowing as you do. Apparently. So why don’t you tell me?”

Lucy flopped back against the couch, giving up. She told Sadie everything: from getting lost in the woods to the work at the house, to the canoe and his place, to lovemaking in the barn. The only thing she spared her sister was the nitty-gritty details.

Sadie was good enough to keep quiet, raising her eyebrows in some parts and nodding in others. When Lucy was done, she grabbed the throw pillow back and hugged it tight once more, her face going pink.

Sadie stood up and slowly took a few steps backward, stepping carefully over the spilled groceries until she was standing across the room in front of the door.

“What are you doing?” Lucy said, utterly confused.

“Getting out of throwing distance.”

“What—”

“Because I’m going to say it again.”

“Say wha—”

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