Page 25 of His Hot Mess

Focus.

“To be honest, I just want to open the doors and start my new life,” I confessed. “But everyone is telling me I need a business plan.”

“I mean, it’s recommended. But you can do whatever you want. It’s your business,” Cat said.

My chest lifted. “You mean Icouldjust open the doors and start selling clothes?”

“Technically, sure. But honestly, if we sketch out a plan together today—and it doesn’t have to be hard—things will besomuch easier for you once things get rolling. I imagine you’ll want to hire staff… file your tax forms…”

She must have noticed me blanch at the T word because she laughed. “I know, it seems overwhelming. But I’ve worked with giant Fortune 500 corporations. Helping you with your shop is going to be super fun. I was very excited when you called and even more excited since you arrived. Plus, there’s something you can help me with.”

“What’s that?” I asked, unable to conceal my surprise. No one ever needed any help from me except for me to bring them their dinner order.

Cat lay her notebook down on her lap, looking slightly embarrassed. “I’ve been a corporate professional for so long I don’t really know how to dress. I know what to wear for the office and for the lake, but nothing in between.”

Now it was my turn to laugh. I clapped my hands together. “I would bethrilledto be of service.”

For the next hour and a half we talked shop, both of us taking down copious notes. Cat asked me to flesh out my vision of what a successful business looked like and helped me outline some key goals that stemmed from that vision. As we spoke, I leaned into Cat’s style of questioning. She wasn’t tough or prodding like Lucy sometimes was, but more exploratory, letting me lead the way. She asked me what I loved about one aspect of my prospective business versus another. Maybe that was why by the end of our visit, with a roughed-out business plan in hand, I felt comfortable enough to ask the question that had been burning since the very beginning.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure,” Cat said, sounding surprised but receptive.

“Can you tell me what it’s like working with your boyfriend? How do you keep things professional when you have… feelings for the other person?”

I didn’t know why I’d asked the question, exactly. It’s not like Chris and I were going to be working together indefinitely—it was only going to be a couple of weeks, for godsake. But I knew myself. I knew how I got around him. And I didn’t want to slip into my old ways.

Cat raised her eyebrows, but then sat back in her chair and considered the question. “Well, it helps that we’re not always physically working together. Like the kind of work I do isn’t right next to him all day.”

I swallowed. There was no helping Chris and I working in extremely close proximity to each other.

“Is there someone else you’re working with, Sadie?”

I chewed my lip. I was habitually a bit of an over-sharer. The new Sadie was supposed to be more… contained.

But thinking about how Cat had spoken so freely about Jake, I wondered if I only thought I was an over-sharer compared to my sister. Lucy was so buttoned up, emotionally speaking, that just confessing I’d had a bad day to the grocery store cashier felt like I was baring my soul.

Though Lucyhadchanged since she’d met Graydon. She was softer, looser. Kinder. The way she was privately with me.

I recalled what Chris had said in the store yesterday:it must be tough living in Lucy’s shadow.

I needed to step out of that shadow.

“There’s a man I’m going to be working with for a couple of weeks. There’s nothing between us, but I just… I haven’t always been the greatest at not harboring feelings for guys who aren’t good for me.”

“Is he not a decent man?” Cat asked.

“For once, that’s not a problem. He’s a verydecentman. He’s also a total know-it-all.” I felt myself grow warm. “But I can’t deny I’m attracted to him. Like I said, there’s nothing there, but I want to keep it that way. I was just wondering if you had any advice about keeping your feelings separate from your work.”

“I have a confession to make,” Cat said. “I’m in my thirties, and Jake is the first guy I’ve had a real relationship with. I mean, I dated men before him, but I never reallywantedto be with anyone the way I want to be with him. He’s… the one.” A glowy, dreamy look came over her—the same one Lucy got when she was with Graydon. It made my heart swell and ache at the same time.

That was the feeling, I realized suddenly. The one I’ve been chasing. That was the look I gave when I talked to Lucy about whatever guy I was dating. But in that moment, I understood it had never beenreal. I’d put the expression on to fool myself. In reality, I’d never had the feeling that a relationship was totally right.

It was a good thing I wasn’t planning on dating anyone for a long time—if ever again because apparently, I had no idea how to tell the difference.

“I do know that Jake and I respect each other,” Cat continued. “We believe in each other, and we’re rooting for each other. So I know that whatever decision we make for the business, we want the other to succeed and we act accordingly. Like I said, it helps that we’re not working side-by-side on the same things all day long so we don’t irritate each other. But that foundation of trust and respect is key. I don’t know if that helps?”

In a weird way, even though their situations were completely different, it did help. What Cat and her boyfriend had was completely different than what I’d experienced in my previous relationships. And it most definitely had nothing to do with my working relationship with Chris. But even though Chris was annoying, everything he’d done for me made it clear he respected me and wanted me to succeed. I just needed to respect myself enough to hold to my rule of keeping away from men.Iwanted me to succeed too. If I could remember that, I could manage working together with Chris for two weeks. Easy peasy.

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