Page 26 of His Hot Mess

“Yes, it actually does help,” I said. “Thanks.”

As Cat walked me out a short while later, she said, “So, you’re a friend of Chris’s, right?”

My stomach lurched.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say friend. He’s the one helping me fix up the shop.”

Cat’s face shifted in surprise, then she smiled. “I see.”

My stomach dropped further. Like an idiot, I’d just revealed my hand.

“I don’t have real feelings for him or anything, I just… wanted to know.” I could hear how feeble the lie sounded.

“Sadie, don’t worry. I’m a lawyer. Confidentiality is burned into my personal values.”

“Thank you,” I said, meaning it.

We stepped out onto the porch. “So,” Cat said, “are you coming to the barbecue on Friday?”

“The barbecue?”

“Yes, at Graydon’s place. They just wrapped up the rest of the camp upgrades over here this week. Apparently Graydon holds these barbecues at the end of all his jobs?”

“Yeah, I went to the one for the job he met my sister at.”

“Of course! I almost forgot the connection Chris mentioned on the phone.”

I hated how my stomach flipped at the mention of his name again.

“I’d love to see you there,” she said. “To be honest, I still don’t know a lot of people in town. It would be awesome to spend some time with another New York expat. Plus, I’d love an opinion on my outfit.”

I laughed. I was supposed to be spending less time partying and more time doing constructive things like business planning. Reading. Self-improvement. But the idea of having a new friend was extremely appealing. Even if it meant I’d likely have to see Chris there too.

But it could be good practice for the next couple of weeks too.

“Alright,” I said, “twist my rubber arm.”

CHRIS

By the time Friday morning rolled around and it was time to actually get to work on Sadie’s store, I’d managed to pep-talk myself down from my low point on Wednesday.

And what a low point it was. First fantasizing about Sadie and then making her cry. All I could think about for the rest of that day was that somehow, I’d made a girl made out of sunshine cry.Cry.I’d been so close to going over to her and wrapping her up in my arms. Thank god I’d remembered Cat’s new business. And thank god again she’d loved the plans I’d sent her for the design.

The email I got back after flipping them over to her was covered in exclamation marks and more than one “EEEEK!!”. It wasn’t the type of email I normally got, and I’d had to make myself file it in an archive folder after pulling it up one too many times just for the warm fuzzy feelings it gave me.

No, I needed to make sure I kept myself at arm’s length for this whole thing. I couldn’t entertain the feelings I’d been having for Sadie, let alone my desire to act on them.

My strong desire to act on them.

Last night, without a beer in sight, I pulled out the album once more and made myself stare for a good amount of time at that one photo that always got me: Me and Jessica standing outside the house we’d just bought together in our hometown, with the oversized garden gnome she’d insisted on buying for the garden cradled in her arms like a cat.

Or a baby.

Maybe it was a bit masochistic. But it worked.

This morning I woke up and had a perfectly normal, perfunctory shower where the only nailing I thought of was the kind I did to put lumber together. After getting dressed, I patted myself on the back for how little I thought about her laugh and the way her nose crinkled when she got mad and the scent of her hair.

Luckily, Graydon and I had lots to discuss at the job site on Ruby Lake. The build I was handing over was a complex bed and breakfast comprised of two houses and several outbuildings on a giant ledge overlooking the lake. Despite copious engineering reports, we’d been having several problems with the rocky topography. We didn’t talk about the Fulham women once except in terms of logistics for Sadie’s shop job. It was no small miracle, given Graydon was marrying Sadie’s sister next month and had been so absorbed with the wedding he’d been unable to keep it out of our conversations over the past few months.

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