Page 73 of His Hot Mess

I wouldn’t do that, even as I knew the life we were putting together wasn’t exactly the one I wanted to live. The business was molded too closely to her father’s. The house was in our hometown, on a suburban street, and I’d wanted to be in the trees, somewhere by a lake.

We’d fought about these things.

I thought about Hank then, the fire inspector working on the Ruby Lake job. When Graydon had told him Casey was back in town, the man had looked shaken. Rattled to his bones.

Broken.

I knew there was something about the way he’d looked thinking about Casey, but I hadn’t put it together until now.

I’d never felt the way he had. I’d loved Jessica—she was my first, and we were together for years. And I’d been messed up over how it ended, sure. But I knew now—only now—that it was theideaof her I was upset about losing. The life we’d set up. The future we’d planned. Even though I’d loved her, I hadn’t felt about Jess the way I felt about Sadie.

I didn’t know it was possible to love someone the way I loved Sadie. Sadie lit me up inside. She made me feel alive. Her sunshine filled my very soul with joy—even when she wasn’t sunny. Even when, like last night, she was pissed at me.

I was in love with Sadie Fulham. Truly, deeply in love in a way I’ve never been before.

And I needed her back.

But first I needed to take care of a few things. After hanging up with Mom, I put on my sneakers, picked up the photo album and headed down to the beach.

SADIE

Ipulled on my glossy bridesmaid heels, the sounds of people outside the vestibule in the church filtering in through the closed door.

“It’s almost go-time!” I said, forcing cheer into my voice.

I was happy, I really was. Thrilled, honestly, that Lucy’s wedding day was here. But my nerves were jangling. I’d have to see Chris—and be civil around him—one last time.

I still couldn’t believe he’d missed the rehearsal dinner, though I don’t think I’d ever been so thankful, too, that someone had messed up so badly. Normally, I was extremely empathetic when it came to screw-ups. Not with myself, clearly, but with other people. But when Chris missed the rehearsal dinner, I didn’t feel sorry for him—at least not about that. I actually sent him a silent prayer of thanks.

Besides, I knew it was no accident.

The night before, at my opening, I’d been in a good place. I was on top of the world, until he showed up.

Before he arrived, I realized at that party that I’d finally made it. I’d finally figured my life out—I was opening my very own vintage shop. Even if it didn’t work out, knowing that I could do it—and seeing how far I’d come—was an incredible feeling.

The rest of my life was in good shape too, except for that one glaring hole I refused to let ruin my opening night.

Over the past few weeks, I’d done a thorough excavation of my apartment, going past cleaning and actually getting rid of almost everything except the bare essentials. It was easier than I’d thought—half my stuff was still in boxes. My apartment actually looked good, and it wasmine.My living situation was perfect for where I wanted to be right now.

And the fact that Lucy and I had made up before the party made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

But it all went to shit when Chris got there.

I couldn’t believe he’d actually shown up. Half of me was touched. More than half, if I was being honest. When I’d seen him, my heart had ballooned. Then the anger had come back. He couldn’t get away from me fast enough the last time I saw him. Why the hell did he think I’d want him here, on my night?

But being in the same room made all my resolve at keeping away from him fall into pieces.

I knew he didn’t want to be around me—that he couldn’t be around me—but still he’d come. And look at where we’d ended up.

When he didn’t show up for the rehearsal dinner, Lucy had been devastated. I’d pulled her aside and explained it was my fault. I told her about the opening, and what had happened after. That he couldn’t be around me. I promised he wouldn’t blow off the wedding—I knew in my heart he wouldn’t do that, or I hoped.

And he didn’t.

Now, helping Lucy to her feet, I glanced out the little window in the door, and my heart stopped. There he was, standing only a few feet from the room we were hiding in before walking down the aisle.

He looked devastatingly handsome in his tux. And when he laughed at something Graydon said out there, I’d caught my breath.

I was in love with him. Completely, head-over-heels in love with him.

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