Page 13 of Speeding Hearts

I didn’t even know what cab service was like here.

“No,” Dean said. “No.” He seemed like he was fed up. “Victoria, I’m here with Stella, and she’s new in town. I’m sorry I can’t hang out.”

Victoria shrugged, but I could tell she was playing aloof.

I knew, in that moment, that Dean’s ex didn’t appear to consider herself fully anex.And that I couldn’t stand in the way of that.

We were still standing by the entryway, and Dean slipped off his jacket, sliding it onto the back of a chair at a table by the window next to us, marking his territory. “Is this okay?” he asked me.

Irritation bubbled up in me. “Sure,” I said, making my voice bright, like nothing was wrong with this weird situation.

Because nothing was wrong. Dean and I were friends. I had nothing to do with his love life.

The thought sent something painful shooting through my stomach, but I shoved that aside. I hadnothingto do with Dean Hughes’ love life, and that’s how it was going to stay.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom,” I said. They could sort their business out without me.

“Come say hi to the girls,” Victoria said to Dean as I walked away.

This was fine. This was Dean’s town, Dean’s restaurant, and maybe the love of Dean’s life. Dean was my friend. I was here to race and that was all.

So what if my throat felt thick as I strode to the bathroom, my chin as high as I could make it go?

Chapter 5

Dean

I couldn’t believeI’d forgotten about Victoria being at Gino’s. I’d been so caught up in being with Stella—the way she’d cheered getting out of that car. That hug, with her body pressed up next to mine, all of its softness and warmth and the scent of her hair. The way she laughed, andfuck,the way she’d looked getting out of the shower.

While she’d been in there, I’d had to force myself to stare at the talking heads on TV as steam curled out from the bathroom, knowing only a cheap hollow-core door was between me and her naked body. Then, when she’d come out all pink and dewy and damp… I was ashamed to say I’d had to get up to hide the most obvious stiffening in my pants.

It was just because I hadn’t been with anyone in a while. That was the only reason I was thinking about my best friend this way. Seeing that couple out in the square hadn’t helped either. I’d felt like I’d been punched in the gut seeing something so special, something I’d never have.

I’d let my feelings get away from me again.

I watched as Stella strode to Gino’s bathroom now, a twisting feeling in my chest. This night had started out so incredibly, and now everything lay splattered on the floor.

I realized Victoria was looking at me expectantly. Had she asked me something?

“I’m sorry Vic. I forgot you guys were going to be here,” I said.

“It’s a free country,” she said. I could hear the hurt in her voice.

“Victoria—”

“Don’t. It’s fine, you’ve made it clear you don’t want to… that I…”

“It’s not just you, Victoria,” I said softly. “I don’t want to be with anyone right now. I can’t.”

Her expression had been skeptical at first, her eyes going in the direction where Stella went, but there must have been something in my voice, some indication of how I felt, like even that wasn’t the whole truth, because her face softened slightly. “We can talk some other time.”

I wanted to tell her there was nothing more to talk about. But she was already leading me back to the table where our old high school friends were smiling politely. Then, I was holding a baby, my head spinning and suddenly back on Stella, and absurdly, wondering what she would look like holding a baby.

* * *

Stellaand I sat down at the restaurant and spoke politely about perfunctory things. But the magic from earlier was gone. Or not gone, but hidden, as if behind a veil.

Even the pizza felt empty and flavorless.

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