Page 36 of Speeding Hearts

Now it was Stella’s turn to reach her hand up to me. She cupped my cheek, and her skin felt so soft, so pure, so perfect. But I didn’t deserve the kindness.

I turned away, sitting up.

“Dean,” Stella said. I felt the bed move as she shifted. “There’s no suffering Olympics, you know,” she said. “You felt bad enough that you were compelled to do a foolish thing. And I know what strained father-son relationships are like—both my brothers were affected in a way I’ll never quite understand.”

She was close behind me, so close I could swear I felt the soft kiss of her breath on my bare shoulder. And just like that, the need for her came back. It was like a punch in my solar plexus. I breathed out, long and low, willing it to abate. But the pain of reliving my past had merged with the pain of having Stella there beside me. I wanted to wrap myself up in her, to forget everything. Fighting that urge was nearly unbearable.

“I’m sorry I put that on you now,” I said, gripping the sheet with my fists, my voice gruff. “After the day you’ve had. You should get some rest.”

I needed to move away from her. My need for her was gathering strength by the second. I should get up, before—

Then, Stella put her hand on my back. Lightning seared through me at this touch, different from how we’d been holding hands earlier.

I turned, taking in Stella Archer. Her dark hair, mussed from lying in the bed, tumbled over her shoulders. My shirt draped over her shoulders, over the soft peaks of her breasts.

“Stella, I’m sorry—” I got up. I couldn’t take it. “I just need a breath of air.”

“I’ll come with—”

“No.” The word was too hard, too loud for the small space. She sat back. I’d hurt her once more. “No,” I said more softly. “I’m okay, promise. I just don’t think about that time anymore.”

That part wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t why I needed to get away.

Stella nodded. Then, as if sitting up was too much anyway, she yawned. “Get some rest,” I said. “I’ll be right outside.”

I wouldn’t do this to her. I couldn’t. Not when she’d been through so much. And not when I needed our friendship more than ever.

As I slipped out into the cool night air, I tried my best to ignore the little voice in my ear. The one telling me that the way I felt about Stella Archer—and the kinds of things I wanted to do to her—were well beyond friend territory.

Chapter 12

Stella

I didn’t remember fallingasleep, of course. The last thing I remembered was Dean needing space after we’d lain awake talking for hours. I remembered the hurt I’d felt when he’d leaped away from my touch as if I’d burned him.

Or as if he knew my feelings about him were more than friendly. I couldn’t deny that the night had felt different than our previous interactions. Way different.

What had started with me rushing into his arms at the motel had ended with my reaching out to him, not caring if he took it as an advance or not. After he’d confessed what had happened to him, my heart had ached for him. But when I’d touched him, everything had shifted. I recalled being sprawled on the ground in buck naked glory in the grass. I hadn’t thought he’d seen, but by the way he’d looked at me once I was on my feet again, I was suddenly sure he had.

And I didn’t care anymore.

But he’d jumped out of bed. He’d run away from me, and I knew part of it was needing the physical space. I could have told him to go, but selfishly, I didn’t want him to. I needed him there beside me.

I wanted him there.

But the moment I’d lain back on the bed, this time without talking or my head spinning, I’d passed out. I’d been running on so little sleep, and so much had happened that day, it only made sense.

I didn’t know what time it was that I woke up, but I knew I’d been dreaming.

And it hadn’t been good.

I was in my motel room and knew I had to get out. The sounds of the party were thunderous, bass thumping in my ears and chest. Then, the smoke came, curling in the window and under the door.

It rose up from the Speedway, now right outside my door, and Dean, a terrified teenager, was trapped in an upside-down car. Then, I was in the car, the weight of it pressing down on me as I lay upside-down in a ditch at the Back Track.

I knew this was going to happen! I knew it.I worked up my breath to scream, expecting it to be drowned out by the roaring blaze in the engine, but it worked.

I woke up and I was in bed in the trailer, next to Dean.

---