Page 38 of Speeding Hearts

Instead, he took in my bare legs, the shirt riding up my hip.

“Shit,” he said, flipping the sheet back up, trying to cover me.

My stomach sank.

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s my fault.”

“Your fault?!” he exclaimed. “I was supposed to be looking out for you, not coming onto you in my sleep. I’m so sorry, Stella.”

I sat up, yanking my shirt down as the sheet fell. Dean sat as far away from me as he could, which wasn’t far in the small bed.

He looked gorgeous, his face still sleepy, but eyes wide.

“It’s fine,” I said, horrified to find myself on the brink of tears.

Stella Archer doesn’t cry!

I swallowed as I turned away, shoving down the pain.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I don’t know what to do to make this better.” Dean reached out for me. It was impulsive, maybe, because he took my hand as if he was going to beg for my forgiveness.

That wasn’t how I wanted him to touch me.

“I’m fine,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze and then pulling it away. I kept my voice as steady as I could, my eyes fixed to the curved back wall of the trailer and the window there. I still couldn’t meet his gaze. I didn’t know what would happen if I tried.

I pulled the curtain open. Sunlight glinted off the creek, and the long grass and flowers on the opposite bank swayed in the light breeze. It was gorgeous here. I could stay here forever.

With Dean.

But that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t have him the way I desperately wanted. Our friendship wouldn’t survive.

I could see how it would go. If we hooked up, Dean would be too pissed at himself for letting it happen. We’d be painfully awkward together. Probably avoid seeing each other altogether. Victoria—poor Victoria, who actually knew how to make another person happy—would be devastated.

And for what?

“You’re right about not wanting to cross that line, Dean.” My stomach churned as I spoke. “I know you’re right. I never wanted to get in the way of your life here. To be a burden. But that’s all I’ve been. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay. It wasn’t fair.”

“You’re not a burden,” he said.

I turned to face him. “It’s all I’ve been.” I felt the prick of tears in my eyes. That’s what would happen if I looked at him.

Dean brought his hands up to his face, leaning his eyes into the heels of his palms. He hadn’t seen. “No,” he said. “You haven’t.”

I said nothing. But I did take the opportunity to look at his nearly naked body. If I was going to feel like shit about myself, I might as well get my kicks. It would probably be the last time I got to see him like this. He wasn’t covered everywhere in tattoos, I knew that now for sure. My eyes went down to the waistband of his shorts.

None there. Despite the pain in my chest, desire rocketed through me once more.

When Dean dropped his hands, his eyes met mine. He’d caught me staring.

Shit.

But suddenly, I was sick of letting my worry get in the way. I was sick of going for something and meeting so much resistance. In that moment, I wanted Dean. So instead of turning away, I kept my gaze locked to him. It was a direct challenge.Youlook away.

Dean’s pupils widened, his mouth opening slightly. In my peripheral vision, I saw the hardness between his legs jump.

Heat flooded through me. He wanted it as much as I did.

The knowledge of this only fortified my desire and my determination to take control of this situation. I didn’t sit back and let things happen to me, did I? That wasn’t me.

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