Page 42 of Speeding Hearts

“That was supposed to be a nice breakfast you could enjoy together.”

When I looked at Stella, her face was unreadable. Was she pissed? She’d shut down, so I couldn’t tell.

You did that.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I have to get to work.” I tucked the last of the pancakes into my mouth, feeling like a complete ass but too far gone to do anything about it. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was get out of here, away from the two women who seemed to be able to see exactly how I was feeling.

“I thought you were the boss?” Stella said. Was she teasing or challenging?

“I am. I need to set a good example.”

“For Stu?” Mom laughed.

I bristled. The two of them joining forces was the last thing I needed. “Don’t you have to be at the Speedway?” I asked Stella. “You have a boss to talk to about racing, don’t you?”

Now I was the one challenging. I could hear the hardness in my voice, and I hated it. But I felt like a cornered animal. Like if I let myself soften up, I’d go to Stella and wrap my arms around her, and my mom would swoon, and everything would be on a disaster track for when I fucked things up again later. A tight feeling clutched at my chest.

Keep your feelings out of it.

“You’re working for Colin?” Mom asked Stella.

Stella nodded. “I’m a mechanic there. But I’m interested in racing.”

“Really?” Mom said, looking at me.

“Yeah, Dean’s been helping me train.”

“Is that so? Dean doesn’t tell me much of what he’s up to.”

My guts twisted. “Mom,” I warned.

She gave me awho, me?look.

I scowled. “I have to go. Thanks for letting Stella stay in the trailer,” I began before remembering Stella had no place to go.

Mom seemed to read my mind. “You can stay here as long as you need, dear.”

Stella looked at me. “Well—”

She was stuck, I knew. She’d told me herself everything else had been booked up. And why shouldn’t she stay here? It’s not like I was staying here too.

The thought tugged at me that I wished Iwasstaying here. With her.

“It makes sense,” I said.

“It’s too much,” Stella was protesting. I couldn’t help but notice she looked a little cornered herself now. What had she said—she hadn’t wanted to interfere with my life?

“Do you need me to take you in to the Speedway?” I asked.

She grimaced, obviously remembering her car was still at the motel. Another reminder she was relying on me for help. I didn’t care about that, but she did. “Well, I—yes, I need to get to work.”

“No,” Mom said, propping her hands on her hips. “You shouldn’t go in today after everything you’ve been through. I can… I’ll let Colin know.”

My jaw must have visibly dropped. Mom and Colin barely talked. They hadn’t for years. She did all her communicating via his wife, Betty. She would do that for a woman she didn’t even know?

“It’s fine,” Mom said. “You go on, I’ll look after Stella.”

My stomach went tight, but Mom was giving me a steely look I hadn’t seen in a good amount of time. All of this was too much. Only an hour ago, I’d been holding Stella in my arms, my stupid dream coming true. Now I was this much closer to hurting all of them.

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