Page 59 of Speeding Hearts

The dinof the crowd outside bounced around the concrete walls of the stairwell as I made my way up to Colin’s office. As I reached the top, I paused to look out over the stands, wiping sweat from my brow with my forearm. I was sweating under this race gear, but I barely noticed. A glow overtook me as I took in the crowd. It was thick, and diverse, too. Families with kids, teenagers, groups of friends of all ages, and couples on dates. Even a group of agile senior citizens from the activity center downtown. The excitement of the crowd seemed to swell around it, making me smile.

We did this.Idid this.

With Colin’s pleading, over the past couple of weeks as I’d incrementally stepped back from my mechanic duties, I’d increased my time in the office. Over that time, I’d overhauled the systems, hired new staff, and launched a marketing blitz to get people excited about the Speedway again. We’d worked our butts off over the past week especially, with an aim to double the attendance from the qualifier at tonight’s Oak Bender. We wouldn’t know until Betty confirmed ticket sales, but by the looks of it, we’d more than met that goal.

From here, it looked like every seat was filled.

That glow felt amazing. I was so proud of what we’d done. But even as I stood there, I felt the shadow carved underneath. Two shadows actually, looped together in a deep ache in my chest.

The first was the envelope burning a hole in my hand: my resignation from my role at the Oak Bend Speedway. I’d already informed Colin earlier in the week that tonight would be my last night on the track as a driver—I’d told him the day after Dean and I had come to our agreement about remaining friends. But I hadn’t decided until this morning that it would be my final two weeks as mechanic, too.

When I woke up this morning, basking in the sun streaming in the window and birdsong outside, it had taken a moment for the familiar ache in my chest—an ache that started and ended with Dean Hughes—to hit like it had every morning over the past couple of weeks.

When it did, it was like an anvil landing.

The feeling had been there every morning since Dean and I had our talk in that very bed. Until now, though, I could shove it off relatively quickly. I’d been completely consumed with work at the Speedway and training for the big race. But now that the Bender was here, the ache wouldn’t leave. All I could see was a deep chasm on the other side of tomorrow.

Sure, there would be other races to prep for—lots more. But my whole life stretched out before me too. I had a big life to lead, and I couldn’t do it wallowing in heartbreak. Because that was what was happening—I knew it now. My heart had been shattered, and I knew there was no way I could get over the source of that shattering if I stayed in this town.

I’d agreed staying friends was the best course of action. And at the time, when Dean and I had talked, it felt like it made sense. It was the only way we wouldn’t lose each other altogether. Our friendship was everything to me, too. But I knew now it wasn’t enough. Once I’d admitted to myself I was in love with the man, no amount of friendship would be enough.

I’d survive, I knew I would. But I couldn’t stay here.

I had come to love Oak Bend and the people in it. The thought of leaving added another layer of pain. But the thought of staying without him was worse.

* * *

“Just the womanI wanted to see,” Colin said as I stepped into the cool of the office.

Colin was beaming. It was a stark change from the first time I’d met him, when he’d caught me down at the track the day I’d arrived in Oak Bend. I’d been filled with a mix of excitement and trepidation as I watched those cars on the track.

I’d come here to fulfill my dreams. But some part of me must have known I wasn’t just here to chase some dream—a dream I hadn’t even been sure I wanted. I was here for the thing I’d actuallywanted. Not something—someone. Someone tall and stupidly handsome and covered in tattoos. Someone who looked at me like he always knew what I was thinking. Someone who laughed at my jokes and always offered to help before I even knew I needed a hand. Someone I called my best friend.

“I was the one who called this meeting,” I said to Colin now.

“Yeah, but I needed to speak to you anyway,” Colin said, gesturing at the chair next to the desk. It was the chair I’d been sitting in the past few weeks as I’d gone over all the management material with him. I’d been organizing the business, getting him hooked up with a PR company, accountant, and print shop that could do all the flyers at a quarter of the price printing them out had been costing him.

Among what felt like a thousand other things. In fact, in the past week, I hadn’t gone near the pit. John and Freddie had joked that they should call me downstairs over the loudspeaker like I was in trouble at school.

I sat down and set the envelope on Colin’s desk.

Colin glanced at it, then back up at me. “Well?”

I hesitated, unable to contain my curiosity. “You go first.”

Colin clapped his hands together, obviously not worried about whatever was in the envelope. A spike of annoyance hit me. What did he think it was, a birthday card? But I couldn’t be annoyed with Colin. He’d changed so much since the beginning of the summer, and I couldn’t help but feel some pride about the newfound lightness in his whole demeanor.

“Stella. As you know—because you built it—we’ve got a new race schedule that is pedal-meets-the-metal, starting tonight with the Bender. We’ve got a whole whack of volunteers and staff, and a functioning, no, booming racetrack for the first time in fifteen years. And I’ve got you to thank, Stella.”

I couldn’t help the little blossom of happiness this gave me. “It was fun,” I said. I meant it, too. “But you were a willing partner, Colin.”

“I was inspired by you. That’s why I’m not going to accept the letter you’ve got in that envelope there.”

My jaw fell open, and I snapped it shut. “You can’t refuse a resignation.”

“Technically, no. But I have a counteroffer. I’ve got a new mechanic lined up, one Dean recommended.”

A jolt landed in my stomach just at the sound of his name. But it dug deeper. Whatever was going on, Dean knew about it. We’d texted a few times over the past couple of weeks, trying to keep up the ruse of friendship, but my heart hadn’t been in it, and our conversations had been pretty insubstantial. Still, I would have thought he’d tell me if he was helping my boss with Speedway-related business.

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