“Why don’t we meet to talk this out?” Kelly asks. “I can be down in the lobby in five. Neil’s gone for the weekend; I’m on my own.”
I freeze, halfway down the corridor.
“Or you could come up here. Just to talk?”
My stomach does a strange flip. A month ago, I would have been thrown for a fucking loop with that. I would probably even have considered it, before reminding myself she’s my ex-wife, the woman who ripped my life in half. Not to mention she’s married. No, I wouldn’t have gone along with it. But I would have kicked my own ass for being so goddamned weak that my mind even went there.
Now, I don’t let another beat pass. I don’t want her to think I’m considering it.
“No. I’ll figure this out. Have a good night.”
Then I hang up the phone.
But I don’t put it in my pocket. Instead, I open my messages and tap on Griffin’s name.
ELI: I fucked up, Griffin. I’m sorry.
I’ve never been one for excuses. I pocket my phone and push out the next exit door, into the frosty night, where I’m surprised to see flakes of snow falling. It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.
I shiver. The walk to the staff apartments is only five minutes along a gravel path that winds through the trees between the hotel and the apartment building. But I’m not dressed for the unexpected cold snap.
I pull my suit jacket tight around me, trying not to think of how pathetic it is that I’m the only one who still lives in this building. We grew up in the staff apartments, on the top floor, which back then had been converted into a family suite. We all went our separate ways after high school, but after Mom died and we all came home, three of the five of us—me, Cass, and Chelsea—moved back here.
Now my sisters are both happily paired off. And me?
I’m a goddamned failure, obsessed with a woman I’m still technically just pretending to date. Who’s letting herself live a little while we’re doing it. When this show is over, who’s to say I won’t end up back at square one? Or worse, square zero, having had Reese again and lost her?
By the time I reach the door, I’m half frozen, a layer of snow on my shoulders and head. But I’m in such a mood I barely notice. I consider hopping in my truck and heading to O’Malley’s, but that thought only makes me think of Reese.
Fuck, Reese.
Before I know what I’m doing, my phone is in my hand.
ELI: Are you around? I had a shit day.
My phone buzzes a moment later.
REESE: Want me to come over? I can bring wine.
My chest feels like a fifty-pound weight has been lifted off of it. I stop, right where I am in the parking lot, and look up at the sky, at the spinning flakes of snow falling all around me. There’s nothing I want more. And I already knew that before I left the hotel.
ELI: Please.
CHAPTER20
Reese
TRACK:The Staves, “I’m on Fire” (Bruce Springsteen cover)
When Eli opens the door, my heart does a whole flip. He looks gorgeous with his dark hair flopping onto his forehead and his rumpled shirt and loose tie. But he looks a little wrecked, too. His eyes are strained, his shoulders tight.
“Hey,” he says. “No Rufus?”
“He’s having a sleepover at Jude’s. Nora asked yesterday.”
For the briefest moment I wonder if it was Rufus Eli wanted to see. But Eli gives a half smile. “It’s fine, I think I’d probably disappoint him tonight anyway.”
“Impossible.”