Page 165 of Mess With Me

“Wait,” I say. “Before you say anything, I have to tell you a few things.”

She smiles, her face so bright.

My heart aches. Because I know what I’m about to tell her might make her say no to what I’m going to ask. But I have to lay everything on the table for her. No more holding back.

“I want you to know I love you,” I begin. “I’ve already told you this, but I want to say it again. I love you. More than anything. And I’ll give up everything to have you in my life if you tell me to.”

I look down as I rub my thumbs over the backs of her hands. “But there are some things I need to do, and I don’t think I’ll be the man you know—and the man you deserve—if I don’t do them.”

When I look back up, she’s looking questioningly at me.

“I no longer have a job now, or a home. But I love the work I do. I…amthe work I do, and I need to keep doing it.”

Sasha told me in the ambulance over here last night that she knew about my business. She also passed on everything her brother had told her about how things went down.

“Ford doesn’t know this yet, but we’ve talked about it before, so I hope he’s going to go for it. And if he doesn’t, I’m going to do it on my own. I want to start up our own organization, bring all the talent who want to come with us from McCrae. But we’re going to run it differently than Lionel did.”

I have to take a second to focus, because talking about Lionel hurts in a way I’m not ready to address yet.

Ford told me they found his car last night at the bottom of a ravine off a highway in New Jersey. His wallet was in the glove box, but there was no sign of him. We know it’s just a matter of time before his body turns up.

I meet Sasha’s eyes. “I won’t keep things secret from you unless it’s safer for you not to know. And not if you don’t want to hear it.” I hesitate. “It won’t always be easy, though. Because we want to focus on a specific area, which isn’t a pretty one.”

“I can handle it.”

I hold her gaze. When I met Sasha, I don’t think I would have believed her. I would have thought she only wanted it to be true. But now I know how strong she is.

“It’s human trafficking, Sash. It’s what Creelman’s organization specializes in. Ford and I—we want to do what law enforcement can’t.”

Ford and I have talked about it at length in the past. We want to expose the assholes who work in the dark shadows; to protect the innocent people they harm, in ways that might walk the line between what’s legal and what’s just.

“We’re not going to be vigilantes, but we won’t shy away from giving voice to the voiceless when it makes people uncomfortable.”

Sasha squeezes my hand. “Griffin, there’s no way I’d ask you to stop making the world a better place. I trust completely that you know what’s right.”

I look down, my stomach churning. “That’s not the hard part, Angel. This work—it’s better if we can be where they are. So we can act fast.” I meet her gaze again. “There’s a town called North Road, Ohio. It’s in the middle of nowhere. Pretty country, and I think you’ll love the town, but the closest cities are hours away.”

Sasha’s face shifts to understanding, then trepidation. “You want me to move to a smaller town than Quince Valley?”

Ford and I agreed this was where we needed to be. “Eight highways converge nearby. It’s a favored hand-off location. But it’ll work because we’re not cops. We won’t let anyone know we’re there.”

We won’t be doing raids. But that doesn’t mean we won’t be stopping what’s happening. We’ll focus on saving lives in ways that’ll leave them not knowing who hit them. We’ll destroy their operations from their rotten cores.

“Last night,” I continue, “I thought about this every time I found myself dropping into the oblivion of what-ifs about what had happened. It made me feel like I had control over something. That I could still do something good after how much I’ve fucked up. But I won’t do it without you, Sasha.”

I watch her throat bob as she swallows.

“I know you’re a big city girl. I understand the position I’ve put you in, and if you don’t want to do this with me, that’s okay. I just want you to think about it. There are a lot of people there—mostly young women and girls—that need help that’s different from what I can provide them. I was thinking maybe…” I feel embarrassed saying this part when I might get it all wrong. “That thing you and Glo talked about. Getting them nice clothes. Helping them make a fresh start.”

She smiles softly. “You remembered me talking about that?”

“I remember everything you talk about.”

She’s still a moment, then she opens her arms. I lean in, and she brings my head to her chest.

We sit like this for a moment, me trying to fight off these fucking tears, while she strokes my hair. I wonder, in some sick, desperate part of me, if this is her way of saying goodbye before she says no.

If it is goodbye, I need to get everything out.

---