Page 53 of Mess With Me

I like Amanda. We all do. Jude grins widely. “You’re looking gorgeous, Amanda. That a new haircut?”

She giggles but turns to me when she says, “I was waiting for you to notice.”

I once helped her deal with a tricky ex-boyfriend situation, and ever since, she always brings me a slice of apple pie when I come in, even if I’m eating scrambled eggs. Once she told me I was her favorite Kelly brother, and I wonder if now’s the time to bring that up to Jude.

“How’s Tina?” I ask as Amanda pours our coffee.

“Oh you know, teenage girl drama is at an all-time high.”

“Does she still babysit?” Cap asks. He’s got his arm over the back of the bench, clearly trying to sound and look casual, but the bench is too high for his arm, and his cheeks are still a fading pink.

“Yes, honey. You two had fun together that one time, didn’t you?”

Cap shrugs, but his cheeks flame a second time.

I lean in and whisper, “Now whose cheeks are pink?”

Cap clears his throat, elbowing me hard. Now it’s his turn to pick up a menu and stare intently at the salad list.

After we order—a peanut butter milkshake for Cap, a full plate of waffles with sausage and bacon for Sasha,with crispy bacon, please, and waffles soft with a crispy edge, if possible, a basic bacon and egg breakfast for me, and a fruit plate for Jude, because of course—Amanda leaves, and fortunately, we settle into a new topic of conversation. Mostly we talk about Nora and how she’s coming home for good in December when she graduates.

“Now, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve got big plans over Christmas,” Jude says, his grin spreading from ear to ear.

“He’s going to ask Nora to marry him!” Cap says, mirroring his dad’s expression.

The cockles of my ice-cold heart warm up at this news, but I don’t show any of them that as I sip my coffee.

Sasha, meanwhile, gasps, her hands at her mouth, tears filling her eyes. “Oh my God, that’s the best news I’ve ever heard!”

While they gush, I find myself examining Sasha’s reaction. Does she dream about getting married? Of course she does, looking like that. Coming from the family she’s in. She’ll probably have a big society wedding in one of those giant halls, with a huge dress that drags on the ground like a princess.

I picture her like that now, on some steps, looking over her shoulder and smiling at me. Then I picture watching her walk down the aisle, and my stomach does a little flip. The fuck why, I don’t know. She’s going to marry some Yaley asshole named Cedric or Percy or some shit, whose family has an estate. Multiple estates.

I watch her now, laughing, her hair thrown over her shoulder, the soft skin of her neck exposed, her hand with its long fingers wrapped around the big, chunky coffee mug.

Then I remember the way Vincent Creelman gripped that perfect hand. How he held her so tight I saw the bruises beginning outside on the sidewalk, while her body still shook with adrenaline. She looked so small, her eyes so big.

And even though she basically told me to fuck off, I left her alone just like her family had. I put her in danger.

My chest goes so tight I have to rub a hand there. Just a subtle touch that I hide with a scratch.

Sasha laughs again, playing some game with Cap involving a quarter on the table. Jude and Cap are always playing, like life’s some kind of game. Sometimes, like right now, I wish I could be carefree like that. But there’s just too much in this world for me to fix to be carefree.

I look at Jude, who picks up his buzzing phone from the tabletop. I know it’s Nora, because he’s got that dreamy fucking look on his face whenever he talks about her.

He’s going to marry her.

I think about Lionel denying me the protection the company could offer her.

Then of all things, Chester, having Sasha fire Louise for a shotgun wedding.

Then it hits me, like a ton of bricks.

Maintaining the reputation of McCrae & Associates is imperative—our credibility is the cornerstone of our success.

Those were Lionel’s own words back at that meeting.

Amanda comes back with the plates of food, setting our dishes on the table. “So, what are y’all up to after this?”

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