Page 35 of Play With Me

I look at Jude like he’s lost his mind. Because he has. “What are you talking about, Jude?”

“I’m talking about you coming with us on this trip. I’ll buy you a ticket, hotel room, everything. Look how much better this is when we’re together, Nora. Do you know how awkward things were this summer when she was in town? I could barely speak, and you know how bad that is when I can’t speak.”

I do know this. Too well.

“Cap acted like he was having fun. But he went to bed in tears every night because of me. And I couldn’t stop it. This? He’s going to remember this day forever and it’s all because of you.”

“It’s not because of me!” I whisper-yell.

Cap is fully preoccupied with the family, who’s getting him to hit notes as high as he can and then falling over cheering for him. “It’s you two—can’t you see that? You guys are the life of the party. I’m just back here taking videos.”

“No.” Jude takes my hand. “It’s your presence, Nora. You and me and Cap, it’s just like it was before. We’re a unit together.”

“Are you forgetting the other person in the room? I mean, pod?”

The wheel turns and we lower, quickly. It’s almost time for us to get off.

We both turn to see Farrah, standing only a few feet away from us. Her eyes are wet. She’s heard everything.

Shit. I yank my hand away from his. “Farrah, he doesn’t mean it—”

“No,” she says, her voice small. “He does. But he is right. You should come with us. Please. You can show me how to be with Cap.”

The words break my heart and ignite an angry flame in my chest at stupid Jude.

“You just need to get the opportunity to be with him like that—”

“She’s never going to be the same as you,” Jude says, loud enough that Cap turns from where he was looking out the window with the family.

His little eyebrows furrow. “Dad?”

My freaking heart cracks. I look to Jude, and God fucking help me it splits even wider. He looks so lost. But we can’t keep going like this. This whole conversation has made it abundantly clear how this is a regression, back to where we were, where it wasn’t working. Where Jude leaned on me and used me as a partner-replacer. Worse, it’s hurting all of them for me to be here.

The pod is one stop away from us disembarking, and I go over to Cap, kneeling down next to him. “I’m going to go, little man. I’ve got to give you guys some time to be together as a family, okay?”

“You’re our family,” he says.

My chest clenches. “I’ll see you again, Cap. It’s not forever.”

Cap swallows, his little throat bobbing. Then he leans in so the others can’t hear. “Dad’s like this around Farrah. I’m scared.”

The pain ripping through me almost has me saying forget it, I’ll come—if just to protect him. But I know that won’t help. “He’s going to be okay. I’m going to make sure of it,” I whisper. “I’m going to see your dad tomorrow, and we’re going to have a long talk, okay? And we’ll make things right. We’ll make it so you have the best trip you ever have in your whole life.”

I shouldn’t be making promises. But I want to promise Cap the moon.

“Will you wear your new glasses to the party?”

“Even better. I’ll wear them right now.” I reach into my bag and pull out the bedazzled glasses, replacing the ones on my face. “How’s that?”

Cap beams. “Perfect.” He looks over to Farrah, who’s staring out the window, chewing on her fingernails. She’s like a little kid, that’s what it is. It’s like she never got the chance to fully grow up. Jude sees it too, and it only reminds him of how fucked up he was when they had their fleeting moment. The one that made Cap.

The pod is landing at the bottom, the doors swishing open.

“We gotta go,” Jude says, his words low. I can see how sorry he is. How ashamed. I wrap my arms around Cap, squeezing him tight, my eyes on Jude.

“I love you, Nora,” Cap says.

I blink with surprise. Then my ruined heart breaks the rest of the way.

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