“I’m sorry, I tried to wake you,” I say, remembering her words from right before she fell asleep. Guilt rips through me.
Stupid, Jude.
I do lift her up then, setting her down on the seat next to me.
“Thank you so much for understanding,” I say to the attendant, who must moonlight as a nun the way her whole face is pursed.
“I did not say that I did,” she snaps. But mercifully, she steps aside, beckoning the people who apparently hadn’t wanted to walk by a couple dry humping on the evening train to come through the aisle.
“You okay?” I ask Nora, shifting to try to rearrange my junk.
Now that we’re decent, a whole stream of people start walking by toward the doors as the train slows. Several of them sneak glances, while others stare outright.
Nora’s eyes are growing wider by the second, her face crimson.
She shakes her head, her rumpled hair shaking. “I can’t—I didn’t—”
“Hey,” I say gently, “it’s fine. You’re never going to see these people again.”
She reaches into the seat pocket in front of her and grabs her water, guzzling it down like she’s just come out of the desert.
When there’s a gap in people, I pull her coat out from the rack above our head—it’s an oversized beige parka. She pulls it over her head like a blanket. “What happened?” she whispers, her voice muffled.
There’s no easy way to say this. “You tried to kiss me,” I say into the coat. I decided not to addyou also rode my dick and told me to touch you. Instead, I waited for the crowd beside us to thin. “There was a little more, but that’s most of it.”
She pokes her head out of her coat. “More?”
I clear my throat. The train’s coming to a stop now. “I’ll get our stuff.”
I’m not avoiding her so much as giving her a moment to digest this information. I realize, as I grab our luggage, that the guilt I feel isn’t just about not keeping my promise to her. It’s also for breaking my promise to myself. Because if I’m being honest, that non-dream felt incredible because it was her.
My corduroy and tights best friend Nora.
The same Nora I swear I heard moaning in the shower at her place before I snuck out the door.
And some not-so-little part of me hoped it was real.
Even though all I can think about right now is my best friend—in the most carnal way—I turn it off as we step off the train with only a little effort. Nerves jangle in my stomach as the unwarranted fear that something happened with Cap and Farrah. I texted when Nora was in the bathroom though, and Farrah had assured me that they were getting off the train momentarily.
“Dad!”
Just like that, everything loosens up again as I kneel down to catch the kid flying at me faster than the train we just got off.
“Hey, buddy,” I laugh, nearly toppling backward.
“I missed you, Dad,” Cap says into my shoulder.
“We were only apart for an hour,” I laugh. “But you know what, I missed you too. So much.”
I throw a glance to Nora, but she’s hiding behind her camera, filming our mini reunion.
“Nora!” Cap yells, jumping on her next. She laughs, lowering the camera.
“Cap is so very excited,” Farrah says from where she’s standing a few feet away, hands twisted in front of her, while Cap chatters to Nora all about the train ride.
I stand up, straightening. “How did it go?” I ask, my voice harder than I mean it to be.
“It was good, Jude. Fine.”