Page 16 of Wish For Me

After last year, I told myself I wasn’t going to look her up. There was no point.

I lasted a week. I didn’t internet stalk her or anything, but every now and again while I was doing research, I’d slip her name into the search bar. The last time I checked was a couple of months ago. Her name had popped up on a Juilliard alumni blog:A Christmas Present welcomes Noelle Pritchard in a leading role….

I’d been thrilled for her. Even though we’d only spent a night together, we’d packed a lot into it. Since graduating, I learned she’d yet to get a role with more than a couple of lines in any major production. She’d taken a job working as a stage manager and ended up loving it, but she still wanted to pursue acting. “I told my mom I’d be on Broadway one day,” she said. “I promised her.”

Now she’d gotten a leading role in a play at a small theatre in Brooklyn. My chest had swelled with pride.

Then I read the part about how it was set to run all through the holiday season.

She wouldn’t even be back in Quince Valley this year. Even if she made it for a few days, she’d probably be with some new guy. A leading man. She was beautiful and funny and…perfect, in my mind. Not a nerd bent over a desk like me.

Still, as I wander into the crowded market, I look over everyone who looks to be approximately Noelle’s general height and size. Just like I’ve been doing all day.

“Leif?”

I turn, my breath hitching. But it’s not Noelle beaming at me—it’s another of Connie’s friends, one whose name escapes me, manning a booth filled with mannequins in chunky Christmas sweaters.

“I thought that was you. You’re more handsome every year, I swear!”

I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment. It’s like they all read from the same playbook.

“You look nice too. I like that sweater.”

“Oh! I have it in a men’s size if you like.”

I end up buying a pair of ridiculous hand-knit moose slippers, which gets my cousin Enzo off my Christmas list.

“Listen,” she says as she rings up my order. “I’ll be at your grandmother’s place for book club tonight; I’ll look forward to hearing about your fancy science stuff then. Also any girl you might be seeing.” She waggles her eyebrows. “If you’re between girls, may I remind you about my beautiful granddaughter?”

This is also straight out of the meddling Grandma’s playbook.

“Oh, thanks,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’ve got a lot going on, but I’ll see.”

I’ll have to make myself scarce. I’m not interested in being set up.

I make my escape and head to the snack booth before I run into any more of Connie’s friends.

The market is swarmed with people. Mostly women. But none have shiny chestnut hair and freckles. None grin at me with a slightly crooked front tooth and call me a nerd.

This is so absurd. Even if I did see her, what was I going to do about it? We lived on opposite coasts. Even if we didn’t, I’m way too busy for a girlfriend. Between courses, my research projects, teaching, and my dissertation, I barely have time to breathe. I turned down pretty much every opportunity to date this past year because of my lack of time.

But even as I think that, I know I’m full of shit.

I’d have time for her.

CHAPTER5

Leif

“Leif, my boy!” Grandpa says when I get home a few hours later.

Floof yaps at my ankles.

“Hi Grandpa,” I say, dropping my bags on the table.

I pick up the yipping dog, stroking her behind the ears. She nuzzles into my neck.

“You’re just in time to test the latest batch,” he says, looking proudly over his cookies.

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