Page 118 of Here & There

“Yeah,” I say. “It’s important to her business.”

“It sounds like she’s important to her business.”

I grit my teeth. “What’s your point, Lana?”

“My point is that if you love her, you need to talk to her. I think she wants to talk to you about it, but she’s worried about bringing it up to you.”

“What? Why would she be scared to talk to me about anything? She can talk to me about anything.”

“She said you guys were still hiding your relationship from Nate.”

My stomach tightens.

“Why are you doing that?”

There are some days I wish I hired less smart women. I hate it when Lana gets like this. I feel like I’m being cross-examined.

“Because—” I grumble, then take a sip of beer. My hand feels sweaty on the bottle.

“Because you don’t want him to get attached, right?”

I glare at Lana. “That makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“It would if you didn’t want a future with Shelby.”

I sputter. Then I take another angry sip from my beer. Fuck her for being so fucking insightful. “I never should have hired you,” I say bitterly. My stomach feels scraped out. “So what the fuck do I do?”

“I don’t know, Mac. Talking about it’s probably a good first step.”

We both look at Shelby now. She’s lit up. She looks vibrant and happy and in her element. She must feel my gaze on her this time, because she looks up and meets my eye, waving. I lift my fingers. I want to go over there and scoop her up, tell her I’ll do everything I can to make her happy here, in Redbeard.

“Mac?” Lana says.

“Yeah, Lana,” I reply. “I know.”

I set down my beer bottle on the bus tray beside me. “Thanks,” I say as I stride across the patio.

“Mac!” Lana exclaims. “I didn’t necessarily mean right now!”

I ignore her, walking right up to Shelby.

“Hello again,” I say to Deanie. Easier than looking at Shelby.

Her friend swallows hard. “Oh. Hi!”

“Hey, you,” Shelby says, looking like she’s trying not to laugh. She rests a hand on my arm, and I almost chicken out.

Maybe Lana’s wrong—I can just spend the next couple of weeks pretending everything’s fine, and when the time comes, everything will just work itself out.

But I’m not an idiot, or at least not that much of one. I hope.

“Did you see Elizabeth came?” Shelby says, pointing out the older woman in a paisley onesie of some kind sitting with Beatrice and her sewing circle friends.

“Wow. I haven’t seen her here in years.” I’m impressed.

“Are they fighting?” Deanie asks. Bea and Elizabeth are exchanging words.

“Yeah, but it looks like they’re enjoying it,” Shelby says.

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