Page 123 of Here & There

My stomach twists. Still, I lift my chin. “We have a…situationship. He knows I’m moving back home in a couple of weeks.” Like Mac is anything I can move on from. “I was hoping to go back to running accounts. I don’t know what the position would be. But I want you to run the company. You’ve done it much better than I have.”

Deanie laughs. Then she goes still. “Oh, you’re serious. Oh my God, Bryony.” She leans back in her chair, pressing her hands to her forehead. “For the smartest woman I know, you’re an idiot.”

“What are you talking about?” I can’t hide the irritation in my voice. But my heart’s also thumping.

“I’m talking about Mac. What’s it going to be like when you’re back here and he’s there? Are you just going to forget you ever met? Leave it as a sad breakup in your diary?”

My letter to my sister, actually.

But the thought of not being with Mac the way we have been makes my heart feel ripped from my chest. “I—” I think, vaguely, you’re not supposed to feel this way about a temporary romance.

“Bryony. Every time you call or text me, you find a way to include him in the conversation.”

“What? No.”

“When I was up there this week, we were all talking about how obsessed he was with you, and you looked like a fire hydrant you were blushing so much.”

“I was not!”

“What’s your favorite thing about him?”

“What? I’m not answering that.”

“Just tell me.”

I huff, folding my arms. But my heart’s beating so hard I can feel it on my forearm. I unfold my arms. “I don’t know. The way he is with people.”

“How’s that?” Deanie asks, her voice softer now.

“He like…watches them. Pays attention to what they need. Then he acts on it. He helps them. He does what he says he’s going to do.”

She’s sitting there, fingers clasped in her lap, like she’s waiting for me to continue.

So I do. “He never wants thanks for the things he does. He just loves doing them. Except sometimes it breaks my heart a little how much he helps. Like he’s still trying to save—” I pinch my lips between my teeth.

“Bryony,” Deanie says. “I’ve seen the way the man stares at you, like he physically can’t let you out of his sight. And you? You light up the damn room anytime you mention his name. You’re in love with the man, and the only one who doesn’t know it is you. And maybe him. But I think you know it now, don’t you?”

There’s a knock on the boardroom door.

I barely hear it. My heart’s thumping almost on the outside of my chest now. In love? Is that what this is? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never felt like this before.

Vaguely, I hear my CFO talking. “Hey, uh, we saw her leave, and I didn’t know which one it was going to be. Then we heard you laughing, but it also sounded like crying. And…Oh God, Bryony’s crying!”

I wipe at the tears in my eyes. “It’s okay.”

I love our CFO. She’s got an afro and about seven piercings on her face and looks forward to tax season like it’s her own personal Mardi Gras.

I’m in love with Mac.

“Just bring them in,” Deanie says.

Our CFO beckons to whoever’s outside. Our receptionist comes in with a balloon that saysSorry for your loss. Then our social media rep comes in with another that saysCongratulations!Someone else rolls in a tray with a camel on it. There’s a speech bubble over him that saysYay?

I laugh, because it’s so funny to me. The camel cake, and the truth about how I feel. I spent so long trying so hard not to be attracted to the men I know could hurt me. Then the minute I let myself open up to one, I fall head over fucking heels.

But soon the whole team is filling the room, cheering that Clientzilla’s still with us and everyone has their jobs. They congratulate me, but I refer them to Deanie. I apologize for the tears. “I’m just…emotional being back here,” I say.

We eat cake. They hug me. I feel my heart explode.

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