Page 17 of Here & There

I grit my teeth. Is heenjoyingthis? “Are you still mad I offered you money?”

“What?”

“I was trying to be nice,” I bite out.

“So was I, and I don’t charge for it. I’m starting to regret it now.”

As I see the way his jaw pops, I realize I’m being a jerk.

He doesn’t know telling my parents where I am is a bad thing. He doesn’t realize that they’re a huge reason why I jumped into the water.

I still didn’t tell him why I jumped into the water.

But I don’t have time to deal with anything except getting out of here before they arrive. “Do you have a back door?”

He looks confused. “I do. But it leads to the parking lot where they’re going to turn up in.”

Panic swells in my chest. “I can’t deal with them right now.”

“Aren’t you a grown woman?”

“What?”

“Is there a reason you can’t you just talk to them? Tell them you’re okay? Fred said they’re beside themselves.”

“You don’t understand.” I grip my hair with my hands, turning around and scanning the kitchen. Maybe I could hide. Then I spot my suit, hanging on a hanger next to some aprons. I rush to get it, balling it up in my arms. It’s still damp.

When I turn back around and see that big lumbering man staring at me, arms folded, I let out an exasperated sound. “Listen, my parents are hard to explain.” Guilt washes through me. There’s a reason they are the way they are. At least for my mom. But I shove that aside. “They’re not so bad, just… They’re part of the reason I jumped into the water.”

His confused expression deepens.

I think of my therapist’s words. The one I stopped going to when work got too busy.“You feel suffocated, Bryony, because you’ve spent your whole life valuing other people’s feelings over your own. Have you considered taking a step back?”

God, how I wish I’d listened to her earlier.

“They’re threatening to sue,” Mac says. “Though they haven’t said who.”

I groan. I can’t run away. They’re worried, of course. They’re always worried. I let my shoulders slump. “They’ve been through a lot.” Guilt squeezes my chest. Still, it’s true, itissuffocating.

Mac studies me like he wants me to say more. It’s a strange feeling. Richard always brushes me off when I get anxious about my family. When I try to open up about anything, he just looks uncomfortable. Sometimes he throws in a platitude.It is what it is, Bryony.

“Richard thinks I should consider myself lucky for how much they care. But they don’t care aboutme.At least, it doesn’t feel like that. They’re…important people. Achievements are everything to them. They care about my performance. Me hitting milestones.”

Because someone else never will.

I slump back on the stool, rubbing my temples with my fingers. “I jumped into the water because it was the fastest way I could think of to put something between the life I have and the life I want. It might not be the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but I can tell you that before that phone rang just now, I felt happier than I have in months. No, years.” The words are shameful to me. But true.

Mac’s still looking at me intently. “So what’s your plan?”

Suddenly, I’m embarrassed.

I swallow hard. “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t hate everything about my life. I just…feel like no one really gets me. I’m tired of being the version of me everyone else wants.” I swallow hard. “There’s someone here, in this town, I think, who might be able to help me.”

His eyes stay on mine, and something dances over my skin; a tingling that reaches from scalp to toe. He looks like he’s aboutto say something, but a dullthump-thump-thumpsounds from out in the bar.

My stomach fills with lead. “That’ll be them.”

“Bryony!” Mom’s voice calls.

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