Page 24 of Here & There

Dear Jessica,

Remember when you wanted to be a veterinarian, and I wanted to be a rock star? And we said I’d get famous and live on a ranch with a bunch of horses and llamas and swans, and you’d make sure they were all healthy?

I didn’t become a rock star. Turns out you need to be able to sing to do that. I guess you didn’t become a vet either. But I did get a new job. For a little while, anyway. It’s what I was doing before, but without the parts that made me miserable.

I won’t bore you with any of the details, but let me just say the job is going to be super fun and only part time, so I can spend the rest of the time finding Grandma. Because I’m going to find her, no matter what. I promise you. Even if she’s not alive anymore, because I’ve beenthinking about it, and Mom could be wrong. She lies about Grandma. I didn’t ask her about how long it had been since the last time they spoke, because she’d just lie again.

I’m not even going to think about Mom while I’m here. Every time she comes to mind, I’m going to remember what she kept from us.

Grandma. The one we always called the fairy grandmother, remember? We imagined she was like the good grandmother who lived in a castle somewhere and sent knights out to try to find her granddaughters.

I don’t think she’s dead, Jess. I think she’s alive, and here, in Redbeard Cove. Or somewhere nearby.

Okay, so I saved the best part for last. The guy I’m going to be working with is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I’m only telling you because I can’t even really admit it to myself or things will get really weird. So I’ll just tell you, like I told you about all the other ones. You’re the only person I can trust with a secret like this. Ridiculous, right? Although, ironically, I feel like I could trust Mac with a secret like this. If only it wasn’t about him.

LOL.

I love you.

—Shelby

P.S. Finally, everyone else can call me Shelby too.

Aweek after jumping into the ocean in my clothes, I wake up to the scent of bacon and coffee.

I inhale deeply. I think this is the first time in years I’ve woken up feeling actually, truly rested.

After hanging up with Mac that first day, I fell asleep for pretty much twenty-four hours straight. I needed the rest. Especially after dealing with my parents for nearly two hours straight.

The next morning, I caved and called Deanie on the inn’s phone to check in. She nearly made me cry by arranging for my overnight bag to be brought from Business Island over to the inn. She said she’d also courier a new phone up, which would be arriving later today.

“Figured yours is probably out of commission after…”

“My swim?” I asked.

We both burst out laughing. “I still can’t believe you did that. Seriously, I wish your parents had been there watching.”

Deanie’s one of the very few people who knows what they’re like, and unlike Richard, she doesn’t defend them to me.

“Richard must have lost his ever-loving mind,” she said after I filled her in on everything.

My stomach flips as I think of Richard. I called him from the inn’s phone, right before calling Mac, telling him I wanted to make our break permanent. He sputtered something about us talking about it when I got home. I was too exhausted to argue.

I told Deanie the Coles Notes version of this and blessed her for not doing a victory cry. She’s made her feelings about Richard clear, though we don’t talk about it much since I stayed with him.

She was quiet enough that I could practically hear her biting her tongue to keep from telling me what she really thought.

We talked about the business, specifically how the next two months are going to work in my sudden absence. “So long asyou’re back for Clientzilla’s event in July, I think we can pull this off,” she said after we’d mapped out a plan. Deanie sounded a little panicky, but I knew she could handle it.

Out of nowhere, I found myself kind of emotional.

“I’m sorry,” I said, a lump in my throat. “I never meant to abandon you like this?—”

“Hey, I’ve been angling for your job since day one,” Deanie said.

I laughed through a sob. Deanie’s told me many times how she’d rather be a shit tester in a sewage treatment plant than be CEO. Particularly after those heinous nights where she found me passed out on my office couch the next morning. But she still sounds excited to look after things for a few weeks. And I trust her with my life. Kind of literally, in this case, since my life is—was—my job.

After I hung up with Deanie, it felt real.

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