Page 101 of Give & Take

It’s extremely hot.

Raph closes his eyes, as if to gather himself. “Was I any good?”

“You were everything I ever wanted. You showed me things I didn’tknowI wanted. Then I woke up. I was still feeling the feelings, Raph. I…”

I look down, my nerves threatening to come back.Fucking get it out, Lana.“I opened my curtains and I…I made myself come. Right there, where you could have seen me.”

For a moment, only silence stretches between us.

Raph’s gone very still.

Then he says, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

I swallow. “I made myself come. Right across from your window. You should…call the cops or something.”

“The cops?” he asks, his voice strained. “What, to send you to horny jail?”

Despite the mortification thrumming through me, I let out the smallest laugh.

It’s then I realize he’s not weirded out. The opposite, actually. He’s up on his knees, his hand gliding over the front of his jeans. He shifts himself as if uncomfortable.

“Did you think I’d be upset by that, Lana?”

“Of course. It’s insane behavior.”

“You just told me you got off in your window. For me. That’s the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me. The hottest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve read a lot of horny shit. It’s not like you’re a stranger, Sunshine.”

My shame cracks, relief pouring through.

“In fact,” Raph says, sounding definitely strained now, “if I recall correctly, I told you I wanted to fuck you on your kitchen island only the night before.”

I nod. He did. That’s probably what set me off.

“The only thing I’m upset about, Sunshine,” he says, “is missing it. So I think I’m going to need you to reenact it for me. Start to finish.”

I laugh, incredulous.

I think he was joking. But now he’s serious. “If you want to do that,” he says. “For penance.”

Every feeling I’d been holding back comes flooding out then, in a hot, needy torrent. “It won’t be a punishment for me to do that again,” I say.

Raph grips the side of the tub. “Careful. You’re going to make me pass out.”

He’s handed the control torch back to me. I hesitate. Then I say, “I didn’t tell you everything yet.”

Raph gets up and sits down on the chair, running a hand through his hair. “There’s more?” he croaks.

It’s funny how quickly this turned. How each time I think I’m going to do or say something to push him away, Raph just likes me more for it.

“Tell me.” He’s practically begging now. His hands are tight on the edge of the tub, like he’s barely holding on.

“I didn’t just use my hands to make myself come, Raph.”

His eyes widen slightly, his teeth coming cursorily onto his bottom lip. He pulls his hands off the tub, settling them on his thighs. “You’re trying to murder me. That’s the only explanation. You’re so pissed at me for wanting you you want to end my life by…fatal erection.”

I laugh. It cuts the nerves, diffuses the seriousness of all of this.

“You have an erection?” I ask innocently. “Right now?”

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