Page 116 of Give & Take

But we did talk about me and retail. Specifically things I could do that had to do with books that weren’t writing one.

I swallow hard. “It’s a mistake,” I say. “It couldn’t have been him.”

Mac’s eyes hold mine. He knows I’m not sure about that. But I am sure about this. “I have no plans to leave the Rusty Dinghy, Mac. And Raphael is going to be leaving at the end of the summer to finish his doctorate. Full stop.”

Because I may have crossed a line in getting togetherwith my nanny, but I’m not getting in the way of Raphael’s life.

It’s not happening. Of all the tumultuousness of the past couple of weeks, of this I’m certain. I may be falling for this man, but it was never going to be more than a summertime thing. Besides his degree, he talked about traveling. About experiencing the world. What happens once he settles down in Redbeard Cove, a tiny town in one small, albeit beautiful corner of the world?

Most of all, he’s already done the dad thing. He raised those brothers. He may say he loves the girls—and I believe him—but that doesn’t mean I can ask him to be there forever.

It’s not happening.

Finally, Mac holds his hands up. “Okay. Fine. I believe you. But for the record, yes I would be stressed if you decided to go. I’d be fucking devastated. The whole crew would be. But just know we know you’re going to one day. And we’ll celebrate whatever it is that takes you away from us with our whole damn hearts.”

Mac making me cry was not on my bingo card today. Yet here I am, abruptly standing up and heading for the door. I pause before leaving, my fingers on the door handle. “Thank you, Mac.” I tell him. “For being the brother I never knew I needed.”

Mac clears his throat. Grumbles you’re welcome.

And another spot on my bingo card is marked as I see his eyes grow shiny too.

Chapter 32

Raphael

The Rusty Dinghy is quiet on a Wednesday afternoon. There are a handful of patrons in the restaurant and several more outside on the patio.

While I wait to be seen, I take in the space. The bar is beautiful, more like a restaurant, with white walls lined with wood shiplap and hand printed portraits of locals all over the walls. Lana told me it was Stu, that grumpy painter who sits outside all day with his watercolors—the one who let us play on his boat that day—who painted all the pictures.

He’s incredibly talented. These really should be in a gallery.

I look around the restaurant for Lana, but don’t see her, which is good. According to Chris she should be on her last break of the day.

Last night, Mac, Shelby, and Mac’s sister Annie took the girls for a spontaneous special two night trip to Seattle. Annie’s a literary agent who works from home butalso travels a lot, and had some conference cancellation but still had the hotel. Mac was the one who suggested going along with Shelby and also taking Nova and Aurora. When he called me, he said it was to give Lana a break. Shelby said in the background Mac wanted an excuse to go to all the kids’ museums.

“That’s just an added bonus,” Mac said. “They’re so cool.” Then he’d cleared his throat. Anyway. “Just make sure she says yes.”

He also arranged it so Lana could have a couple of vacation days midweek, and told me I should spend those two days making sure Lana has the time of her fucking life.

“That’s not a sex thing,” Mac grumbled, realizing his poor choice of words.

I didn’t know Mac knew we were…hooking up, which is a woefully poor term for what we have. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was helping us have alone time.

In any case, I’m here, both to get a glimpse of Lana in server mode, and to surprise her with the trip I’ve organized. I’ve got Cal’s truck packed outside. I just hope she likes it.

Chris emerges from the kitchen. “Oh, hi there,” she says as she heads to another table. “Go ahead and seat yourself.”

She doesn’t recognize me, which means I’ve nailed this outfit. When I told Lana I’d wear a disguise the day I came to see her at work, she thought I was joking.

Though she was distracted by the giant tray of food she’s holding. Now that she’s unloaded it, Chris does adouble take and gives me a slightly wary look as she sees me move to a booth on the far wall.

I hope it’s in Lana’s section.

When Chris doesn’t come over right away, I give myself a mental pat on the back, since I was worried Lana would see right through me. I’m wearing a ball cap, wig, thick bushy stick-on mustache, and tinted aviator sunglasses. I’m also wearing a trench coat, which maybe wasn’t a great idea since it’s still the dog days of summer and extremely hot out, even down here on the water.

Chris comes over a few minutes later to bring me menus. I give her a big smile to show her it’s me, just like we planned.

“Am I in Lana’s section?” I ask, keeping my voice low. I wait for her to recognize me.

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