Page 128 of Give & Take

“Nova, no matter what happens with me and your mom, and me in Redbeard Cove, I want you to know that we’re friends now, and that’s never going to change. Even if I live far away from you, we’re going to talk all the time. We can be pen pals.”

“What’s a pen pal?”

I explain the ancient tradition of writing letters. I can count the number of letters I’ve written in my life on one hand, but the idea of exchanging letters with these kids as they grow up is both heart clenching and heart fucking wrenching. I want to see them grow up. I want to be a part of their lives.

But I don’t control that.

“And you can call me anytime you need from your mom’s phone. Whenever you want to play the unanswerablequestion game. Whenever you want to tell me about the friend you really really want to stay friends with even though you had a big fight. Whenever you need anything at all, sweetheart. I’m your friend, okay?”

Nova looks up at me, her lip wobbling for the first time since I’ve known her. “But you’re going to have your own family one day.”

Is it weird that feels like a gut punch? I mean, maybe, but it seems weird she’d say that, too. Like someone might have told her that.

Someone like Lana.

Their mom’s already had this conversation with them. Of course she has. She’s the best mother in the world, she’d be thinking of them first. She’s told them I’m leaving. She’s been preparing them for it. If she’s said something like that to them, it might mean they’ve asked her if I can stay.

Or maybe only Nova has.

I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots. “It’s really hard to know what the future holds, Nova.” It’s hard to get the words out. Until…it’s not. I straighten up, dipping my chin, and lowering my voice. “But it’s my solemn promise to you—an unbreakable oath of no return—that we will be friends as long as we both shall breathe, okay?”

Nova’s lips curl up. “You remembered?”

I was badly quoting a book I read to her a few weeks ago. Or started reading to her before she proclaimed me too slow and finished it herself. She carried it around with her for a full week rereading it at least twice. Even now it sits on her bedside table, tattered and worn.

“Of course I remembered Lady White Snail of Thunderdome.”

Nova slaps her head. “Whitnail of Thomberone.”

I shrug. “Same diff.”

She glares at me, and my damn heart swells three sizes. Then, to my utter shock, Nova Bloor throws her arms around me, and says “Thank you,” so softly I hardly hear. Or breathe.

Then she’s up, declaring we need to start our test runs of the icing before Lana gets home.

And I know, no matter what happens, the kids at least, are all right.

Chapter 35

Raphael

Istraighten my tie outside Room 419 in the Department of English building. The hallway is deserted, being the summer.

“Raphael LaForest?” A voice calls from inside.

I stand up, waiting for the nerves to gallop inside my stomach. They don’t come.

I don’t really get nerves about a lot of things. It’s the whole not attaching myself to outcomes thing. Except now I’ve fully attached myself to an outcome, albeit not this one. So I expected everything to be fucked.

But as I walk into the room filled with four senior academics, each one having been dragged from their summer activities with an absolutely insane request, which I’m still shocked they honored.

“Did you ever see Flashdance?” I ask.

My advisor closes her eyes, but she’s trying not to smile.

“What’s aFlash Dance?” Professor Jones asks. He’s a silver haired Black man who looks like he moonlights as aSupreme Court judge, but actually specializes in medieval French literature.

“You don’t know what Flashdance is, George?” Professor O’Malley asks, appalled. O’Malley’s a portly Irish lecturer with a Santa Claus beard who I know for a fact knows what Flashdance is because I once saw him singing “What A Feeling” at a Karaoke bar last year. The same place my sister tracked him down in two weeks ago to ask him for the favor of a lifetime.

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