Page 14 of Give & Take

But something in me bristles at the word hate. I did think about it—a lot, actually—even if I’m not actually considering it. I shrug, tipping my head back to look out at the trees and ocean. “Who says I’d hate it? Maybe it’s part of my five year plan.”

She lifts her brow. “You have a five-year plan? Mr. Go-Where-The-Wind-Takes-Me? Last year you were going to move to Botswana to study mycology. Then suddenly you’re enrolled at a top-five college doing a doctorate in Dostoyevsky because you picked up one of his books in a freaking jungle guesthouse in Cambodia.”

“Tolstoy, and my undergrad was in English. It was a naturalfit.”

“Whatever. I get it. You can do anything you decide you want to do. You’ve got handsome privilege.”

“You do know we have the same genes.”

She blows out an irritated puff of air. “Yeah, but nothing falls in my lap the way it does yours.”

My jaw clenches before I force it to relax again. This is an old argument between us. Things don’t fall in my lap—I coax them over the edge and make them fall. And then I work my ass off following through. I just don’t settle. But Deanie doesn’t want to hear any of that, because she does settle for less than she’s worth.

“I thought you came to apologize?” I ask. “I don’t know why you were pushing so hard for this yesterday and suddenly don’t think I can do it. Those kids are great. And Lana’s…fascinating.”

Deanie smirks. “Fascinating, huh?” Then she frowns. “Wait, you mean you’re actually considering it?” Her expression turns to sudden concern, like she didn’t come up with this scheme. “They’re not like our brothers, Raph.”

Yesterday, she wanted to get rid of me. But when push comes to shove, she doesn’t think I can do it.

“You can’t just wrestle them when they’re having a bad day.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re sweet little girls! They’re going to want to dress up as princesses and paint their nails and stuff.”

“Awfully gendered of you.”

Deanie rolls her eyes again. “It’s fine, Raph. Just forget I asked. When we get back to Vancouver I’llintroduce you to that guy at the sailing club we rebranded last year. You can teach beautiful women how to sail all summer. That’s more your speed.”

Even though I know she didn’t mean to be insulting, I have a harder time controlling my irritation at that. “I’m not the playboy you think I am, Dee.” Sure I’m friendly. And I’ve dated. A lot. But I’m not the horndog people assume I am, just because women do things like hand me their numbers unbidden. What so many men seem to have not figured out, is that women just aren’t used to being truly listened to by men. And listening and observing is how I learn about the world. So, yeah. They like me. But that doesn’t make me a fucking playboy.

“I know you’re not, Raph,” Deanie says. “But the yacht club would be perfect. I know how charming you are. And how much fun you had doing outdoor summer stuff back when you were a teenager.”

I scrub my face with my hand, picking up my coffee again. My sister means well. “That was a decade ago, Dee. And having rich women looking at me like a piece of meat while they do everything in their power to get themselves thrown overboard? Doesn’t sound like my idea of fun.”

I take a sip of coffee, thinking that of course, if one particular woman looked at me like a piece of meat, I wouldn’t mind in the least. “Lana, on the other hand…”

“Jesus, Raph.” Deanie shakes her head. But she’s laughing too.

“She’s extremely hot.”

“She’s like, fifteen years older than you.”

“How old is she?”

“Forty, I think.”

I weigh this information. But I find it only adds to her appeal. Plus, it’s just confirmation of what I already knew.

I shrug. “Guess I’m into older women. Do you think she’d go for a male nanny?” I ask.

Deanie looks me in the eye.

I look her in the eye.

Maybe I will be her nanny, if she’ll have me. Maybe I could spend the summer here, having fun with those kids.

Seeing a whole lot of their Mom. Sure, she’s unbelievably sexy. But she also looked weighed down. Like life has been heavy where it doesn’t have to be. I grew up with a single mom. I know how hard it is keeping life functioning while also worrying about kids. If I could help ease her load by looking after her daughters, then that’s what I suddenly very much want to do. I want to know what it takes to make her smile. To make her laugh. But mostly, I want to see that weight lifted off her shoulders. Plus it’d be no skin off my back. Those kids are awesome.

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