Page 147 of Give & Take

There’s a dirt road here, hardly more than wagon ruts. It leads to a lookout, where we can see the snaking line of red taillights in the lineup below, the boat coming in, and the sea stretched out like rippling black glass.

Raph kills the engine, but keeps his hands on the handlebars, wrapping and unwrapping his fingers on the rubber.

He’s nervous. He’s spilled his heart, and I still haven’t said it.

“What do you want to do, Sunshine?” he rasps.

“Keep going with you,” I say. “Forever.” I don’t mean on the highway.

But Raph pulls off his helmet and steps off the bike. He helps me off, then pulls my helmet from my head with exquisite gentleness.

He sets them on the bike.

Then he takes a breath. “Don’t mess with me, Sunshine.”

His face has an expression on it I’ve never seen before. It’s concern, but more deeply etched than I’ve ever known.

“I’m so fucking scared, Lana. You have my heart in your hands.”

“I’m supposed to be the scared one,” I tell him. “I’m supposed to let you go.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t. I can’t be any more clear with you. Don’t let me go, Lana. There’s so much outthere, but we can see it together. We can make a life for ourselves here, and we can go on adventures out there. Together.” He sweeps his hand toward the lights down below. “If we’re together, I?—”

“I love you,” I say.

He blinks, still for a moment, his face hard in the moonlight, emotion rippling his jaw.

Then his hands come up, grasping my face. “Say it again.” Raph’s eyes bore into mine.

“I love you, Raph. There’s never been any question of that. In six weeks you’ve seen me better than anyone I’ve ever known.” I lower my voice. “Anyone.”

Raph doesn’t wait a moment more. He takes my mouth with his.

This kiss, I know instantly, is the one.

The same way I knewhewas the one, each time he saw right through me. Each time I put up a wall and he waited patiently not to smash it down himself, but for me to dismantle it. To look over the edge and see no matter how high I made it, he was there, on the other side.

“I love you,” he whispers against my lips, my teeth, my tongue. “I love you I love you I love you.”

I love this man, I think, as I undo his jeans.I love this manas he lifts me up and sits me sideways on the bike’s seat, bracing his hand against the tree on its other side. He slides my panties aside for the second time in an hour. He’s so hard, so ready and so sure.

I love this manI think, as he tells me how good I feel. As he tells me how well I’m taking his cock. As he wields any shame I have into power.

“You’ve ruined me,” he breathes as he rams into me, bracing his free hand on my back. “Ruined.”

When I come through the front door alone, Mom is on the couch, the TV on silent across from her.

“Mom,” I say, when she blinks her eyes open. “You know I have a guest bedroom!”

She sits up, checking her watch. “I’m fine. I can’t sleep anymore—time change.”

“It’s three in the morning!”

“All the more time to make you a cake.”

I laugh softly, stifling a yawn. “I’m pretty sure Raph and the girls have that sorted. Or at least that better be why the girls have flour and cake pans in their closets.”

Mom smiles and pats the couch next to her. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

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