Page 22 of Give & Take

I wait for her to fully round the corner. Her door slams.

When I turn back, of course Raphael’s still standing in my living room.

“So? What about you?” I ask. “Are you going to apologize too?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. Because I’m not sorry your daughter’s a genius. She figured out the one way most likely to get you to see me. I guess I am sorry for messing with those other nannies but…they kind of proved the point that they don’t know how to deal with…spirited kids. Not the way I do. Right?”

I despise how he’s right. Still, I hold the clipboard in front of me like a shield. “It wasn’t fair.”

NowIsound like the child.

Raphael nods. Then he slips his hands into his pockets. The gesture makes him look chagrinned. “I don’t think I mentioned that my littlest brother totaled our dad’s car at six years old,” he says.

I can’t help it. I gape.

“He was fine. It’s a long story involving a pulled e-brake on a parked car. On a hill. But compared to those four, your girls are angels.”

His mouth curls up and I have to look away.

I open my mouth to tell him goodbye, but he takes a step forward, bringing my eyes involuntarily back to him, though I focus on his chest in front of me. That leaf pendant.

“I’m going to go now, I promise. But Lana, if I somehow haven’t fucked this up absolutely, and you hire me, I promise you your kids won’t have a boring summer. We’ll read, we’ll play games, we’ll run around outside. We’ll start a band if that’s what they’re into. It’ll be the… summer of fun. I think you all could use a little fun around here, right?”

When I finally meet his eyes again I swear I feel like warm caramel is rolling over me. I feel suddenly way too hot.

“Anyway. Thanks for the chance,” Raphael says. Then he turns around and heads for the door.

I grip Nova’s clipboard so hard I know it’s etching into my palms. Why is he so goddamned confident? “Make sure it latches,” I say primly, just because I’ve been standing here mute and need to get some kind of word in.

“See you soon, Lana.”

I wait for the door to click shut. I pause for a moment. Then I pull out my phone, tapping on my outdoor camera app.

I hold my breath. I have no idea what he’s going to do, but I know—Iknowhe’s not just going to walk out of here like a normal person.

And yet Raphael has his hands in his pockets as hejogs down the steps. Is he…whistling? I don’t have the sound on.

To my utter shock, I feel the lightest brush of disappointment when it looks like he is in fact going to disappear out on the sidewalk.

But just as he’s reaching the end of the walkway, he looks over his shoulder. His lips curl up in a grin. And then, of all things, he winks.

Chapter 7

Raphael

My philosophy in life is to not hold on too tightly to anything, because everything is fleeting. Joy. Pain. Love. Hope. It’s not a bad thing. It justis.I don’t attach myself to anything, and I take each day as it comes.

Except today.

Today? Fuuuuuck that.

It’s been a week since the interview, and Lana still hasn’t called.

I pace the back deck at Mac and Shelby’s, throwing back my third espresso of the day. They’ve been kind enough to let me stay as long as I need. This morning, I went for a run on the beach with the dog, hammered down all the loose nails out here I could find, and mowed the lawn. This week, I scrubbed the deck, painted the gate, went kite surfing with Cal twice and scuba-diving with Mac once. I even wrote a whole essay on Tolstoy, which at least will serve as a chapter in my dissertation.

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