Page 58 of Give & Take

He wasn’t always so oblivious. When we met, we were both young and ambitious. He was relentless in his pursuit of me. Told everyone who’d listen how I was single-handedly resurrecting my family’s reputation, ifnot in so many words. He said it so adoringly it wasn’t until later I realized how much the words grated.

Mom had come from money, but was the black sheep of the family when she dropped out of high school to have me. Mike was smart enough never to share those sentiments around her, and at first, she was happy for me when we met. Mostly because he encouraged my drive.

She never said it, but I knew she wanted me to make something of myself; to stand up on my own two feet.You don’t want to end up like me, sweetheart. Run off my feet serving other people dinner.

It’s why I went to law school in the first place. For her.

But eventually the sheen wore off. She pulled me aside before the wedding and asked me if I was sure about going through with it.

“I thought you liked him?” I’d asked, aghast.

“I just want you to be happy,” she’d said. “For you. Not for Mike. Not for me.”

I’d been annoyed how that wasn’t an answer. How she’d sprung this on me last minute.

Later I realized she’d been telling me all along to live my own life. I just hadn’t been listening.

“Think you got a delivery,” Mike says from the far side of the monstrosity, which is nearly fully inflated now.

“On a Saturday?” I ask. I look up, and my stomach plunges. Raphael’s coming up the walkway to his place, a package under his arm. He’s looking at his phone, earbuds in his ears. He hasn’t seen us yet. He’s wearing a sweat-drenched loose tank top over running shorts thatshow off lean, tanned legs. He pauses to punch something into his phone. His skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, and I have an obscene thought:I wonder what it tastes like.

The hell?I should be grossed out by that thought, but instead my nipples pinch under my t-shirt.

“Lan?” Mike asks, sounding bewildered.

I wrap my arms over my chest. “What kind of delivery person wears workout clothes? And don’t call me Lan.”

Mike looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Which, maybe I have.

Nerves clench my stomach. I’m going overboard with my bitchiness. But that’s because I’m sure Mike’s going to see it all over my face. That I’ve hired this incredibly gorgeous young nanny and part of me wonders if it was just for my own sick, twisted enjoyment. Like the fact that he’s actually amazing with the kids is just a lucky break.

“It’s hot out here, isn’t it?” I ask, trying to distract him.

Maybe Raphael will walk right by and not notice. Maybe Mike will get distracted or maybe I’ll get sucked right into the back of that air pump and disappear for a little while.

Mike stares at me. “Lana, who is that? Do you know that guy?”

I sweat hard, like the sun is right next to me, pointing at me.Shame!

The girls burst out the backdoor just then. “Raph! Look!” Aurora shouts. Nova grabs him by the hand, startling him. He grins, popping out his earbuds. Then hespots the inflatable jungle coming to life and immediately his eyes go to me.

And Mike.

Without meaning to, I take a tiny step sideways away from my ex-husband. Then I feel like a fool for doing so. I’m so fucking obvious.

But more than embarrassed, I’m nervous. Panicked, almost.

“That’s Raphael,” I say brightly.

I feel Mike stiffen beside me. “Who the hell is Raphael?” His voice is kind of high. “And why are the kids all over him?”

I take a breath. I knew this was a possibility. The minute I got that text. Hell, the minute I hired Raphael. I can do this.

“Raphael’s the nanny,” I say in a tone that dares him to say something about that. My voice is aloof, but my palms are still greasy with sweat.

“Nanny?” Mike asks, incredulous.

Of course Raphael comes our way.

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