Page 60 of Give & Take

Raph pauses.

The girls squeal. “Yeah! Come and have hot dogs with us!”

Mike has an unbecoming expression on his face.Distaste on full display. I don’t even care how awkward it’ll be. Anything to spend a moment with Raphael. To see him run circles around Mike.

For Mike to see how happy I am.

But Raphael gives a regretful smile. “I’ve actually got plans tonight.”

My stomach twists. Of course. It’s Saturday night.

Mike looks visibly relieved. “Hot date I bet, young stud like you.”

“For God’s sake, Mike,” I say under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

“I could—” Raphael begins, his eyes boring into me.

But I shake my head. “No. Have fun, Raph. We’ll see you around.”

There’s that look again.You okay, Sunshine?What I wouldn’t give for him to call me that one more time.

I nod, feeling a strange thickness in my throat.

I’m not okay, but he really doesn’t need to know that.

Chapter 18

Raphael

“You’re sure you don’t need me to come in? I make really good tea.” Jenna speaks loudly so I can hear her over the rush of open air.

I’m already reaching for my seatbelt as Jenna pulls her Wrangler onto Lana’s street, though I don’t press the button yet. I give her a smile. “Thanks, but I think I just need to lie down.”

I’ve never bailed on a date before. Not like this. I’m embarrassed at how weak my excuse was—Headache. It’s the same excuse I gave for drinking water at the restaurant instead of the carafe of red she wanted to share.

In fact, I gave her all the signals it wasn’t happening—weweren’t happening—except for asking her on this fucking date. And I only did that to make sure I was going to be the fuck out of the house while Lana’s ex-douchebag was around. Sitting through a barbecue with that guy would be about as fun as bathing in hot sauce.

Still, I can’t stop thinking about how Lana’s smile haddropped when I told her I had plans. How I could see the million thoughts flashing behind her eyes. All I wanted to do was tell her it wasn’t like that. It can never be like that again.

“I get it,” Jenna says. “The restaurant was pretty loud.”

Guilt washes over me. Like hot sauce.

“You’ll text me if you need anything right? I can call my dad if you?—”

“No,” I say, a little too quick. I rewrap my hand around the roll bar of her Jeep. That would be a stage-five disaster. Her dad’s a doctor in Swan River. I think. Maybe Seattle. Fuck.

As Jenna pulls into the driveway, I look up at the porch, already breathing easier being back here. It’s close to ten o’clock, but because this is Canada, it’s only just approaching dusk.

Then my stomach does a little jump, because there’s movement up there. The oversized swing on the far end of the porch, stuffed with cushions, rocks gently. And I know it’s past Nova and Aurora’s bedtime.

“Okay,” Jenna says as she puts her jeep in park. She’s smiling, though it doesn’t quite meet her eyes.

I’m an asshole.

“Jenna. I…had a great night,” I say. I would have. If I had an ounce of interest in this girl. She’s nice. Smart. Pretty. But all I could think about all night was Lana, calling out to me this afternoon.

Lana, telling her ex I treated her girls like they were mine.

---