Page 61 of Give & Take

The inside of my chest hasn’t been right since.

I rub my hand over my face. “But I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry.”

She nods, her lips pressed together like she knew this was coming. “Mmm.”

I grimace. “You’re incredible, Jenna. Smart, pretty, sweet. It’s not you. A thousand times not you.”

“Then what is it?”

My eyes slant toward the porch. The swing has stopped moving. We’re in a Jeep. If Lana’s there, she can likely hear exactly what I’m saying.

She can hear.

“There’s someone else.”

Jenna’s eyes widen. “Oh.” Then she frowns. “So why did you call me, Raphael?”

Yeah. That’s the shit part. I strive for the truth. A selective truth, anyway. “Honestly? I thought I could do it. Because…I don’t know if anything’s going to happen with the other person.” I wipe my hand over my jaw.But I can’t stop thinking about her.

A beat passes.

“So even if you don’t know anything’s going to happen,” Jenna says, as if trying to figure this out, “you still can’t date anyone else?”

I run my hand through my hair. “No. Guess I should have figured that out sooner.” I give her an apologetic look.

“You really like her, huh?” she says finally, sounding resigned.

Jenna really is cool. She’ll make someone very happy. Just not me.

“Yes.” I should shut up now. But I can’t. “Actually, I doubt there’s any future between us. But if there’s even the slightest possibility of something, I can’t risk missing out on it.”

Jenna studies me a minute, then tips her head back and laughs softly. “That’s really fucking romantic, Raphael, you know that?”

“I—”

“Yeah I know you weren’t going for that. It just comes naturally to you, I guess.” She looks at me and sighs. “Could you be any more perfect?”

“I’m not perfect, Jenna. I’ve got this one tooth that’s kind of crooked. I don’t like tomatoes unless they come right out of someone’s garden.”

She laughs softly.

“Plus,” I say, “I’m kind of manic. And I annoy the shit out of a lot of people.”

“Not me.”

“Just wait.”

She laughs again, but this time it’s kind of sad. “Well, if it doesn’t work out, call me, okay? I won’t wait around forever, but I’ll be around this summer.”

“I don’t think we should leave any loose ends,” I say gently.

She laughs again. “Get out of my car, Raphael.”

I grin. “See?”

I hop out of the Jeep, but not before walking around and giving her a hug. “Bye Jenna.”

“Bye, Raph.”

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