Page 84 of Give & Take

I press my left hand against the cool glass and with the other, slip past my soft elastic waistband.

Just like I already knew, I’m wet. Soaked for him. My fingers slide wantonly across my opening, slicking over the tight bud of my clit with a zing of pleasure.

Raph would know exactly what to do with me.

He’ll make a meal of me.

I stop caring then. If I’m going to be ashamed, I might as well go all the way.

Past the point of logical thought, I reach under my bed, pulling out the box marked “Budget papers”. I slidethe dummy papers aside and pull out the dark plastic bag where I hide what’s very embarrassingly, my favorite toy.

My only toy.

I pull the giant, flesh-colored dildo out. It should feel silly, holding this thing. But instead, I just remember the feel of Raph in my hand.

I need this thing. Desperately, just to keep from going over there and banging on his door.

Standing up again, I keep further back, so Icouldbe in the shadows, but could be visible too. The ambiguity makes this slightly safer, while still with enough risk it sends a thrill through me to keep going.

I had no idea I was an exhibitionist. Raph’s not even here and apparently he’s unlocked a new kink in me.

Maybe it was him telling me he’d scare me off with what he wants to do to me.

How about this, Raph? Does this scare you?

I drop my panties so I’m fully naked. Then I spread my legs wide, pressing the cool tip of the giant object against my clit. I move it in circles, pleasure rippling over me in waves. When my knees begin to wobble, I draw it down, notching it at my entrance. A low, guttural sound I didn’t think I was capable of shudders through me.

It’s Raph’s hand I feel there, touching me, warming me up, easing the pressure against my opening.

It’s Raph’s cock I imagine as I take the thing inside of me.

It only takes a few moments with me thrusting slowly with one hand and caressing my clit with the other before I’m right there, desperate and needy. I pick up the pace, fucking myself so hard my muscles begin to quiver.

I don’t draw it out. I let it happen.

Like a freight train, I come. I come so hard my legs shake, knees knocking together. I gasp and say his name again and again as I thrust the thing into me.Raph, Raph, Raph,I moan, my eyes on the blinds across the space between us.As the wave rounds its final soft, delicious peak, I retract the dildo and fall backward onto the bed.

I breathe so hard I think I’m going to pass out.

Then reality comes crashing down.

What iswrongwith me? This is beyond not okay. This is perverted.

Shame washes over me as I think of how bad this is. How I’ve let my guard down so completely I’m doing things that are not just shameful but illegal. I rush to the en-suite and clean my toy, wanting very badly to throw it away. Instead I shower, trying hard to forget what just happened.

Hating that I still feel so good despite it all.

Then I dry off and put everything away.

In my towel, I open my blinds, this time to let the sun in.

I get dressed, my back to the window. Fresh panties, sports bra, and the rest of my running outfit.

When I turn around, ready to go, Raphael’s standing by the window, wearing only jeans, his t-shirt in his hand.

He looks mortified. “I’m sorry,” he says.

He’s expecting me to look shocked. Little does he know that even if he saw me naked, he didn’t see a thing.

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