Page 9 of Give & Take

“…an ass at the concession stand,” Shelby finishes for me.

Right.

“What?” Deanie exclaims. “I’m so sorry!” She looks shocked. And confused. “Although…I’ve never once seen him be rude. The opposite, actually.” Her brows furrow. “What happened?”

I hesitate. What did happen? He was…admiring me. He apologized. He wasn’t exactly being lascivious. Did I overreact?

“Nothing,” I say. “He caught me off-guard, that’s all.”

Shelby opens her mouth but I give a quick shake of my head. It doesn’t matter. Besides, watching my girls’ gleeful expressions, I realize with some level of guilt that my kids haven’t had this much fun in a very, very long time.

“He does seem to know how to play with my kids better than I do,” I say.

“Well, you’re busy doing all the ‘keeping everyone alive’ stuff,” Shelby says. “It’s hard finding energy after that.”

Shelby’s a good friend. Though I’ve only known her a year, since she moved to Redbeard Cove, I consider her, along with Chris, my closest friends.

Still, the mom-guilt remains. The feeling of doing every last little thing for my kids—and still not doing enough.

“I guess,” I say, smiling as best I can. “How long are you guys here for?” I ask Deanie, wanting to shift the attention from me.

“Just for the weekend.” Her brow still has a little wrinkle of concern in it.

“Too short,” I say, even though my internal response is:Thank God.I like Deanie, but the sooner I can get away from her brother the better.

Deanie’s still troubled by whatever she thinks our interaction was. “Lana, he’s an idiot, but I promise he’s harmless.” Not when it comes to unnerving me. Ormaking heat flush to every single damn part of my body. “He pretty much raised our little brothers,” she adds.

My eyebrows lift, which she takes as me being curious. Which, I guess I am.

“Our dad had four of them with our stepmother after he left Mom,” she says. “They’re all teenagers now, but when they were little, Dad was a workaholic and never around, and his wife couldn’t care less.”

“Wow.” My stomach turns at the idea of Mike going off and having four children with someone new now. I don’t harbor any feelings for my ex anymore—atall—but it’s still rough. I feel a sudden wash of sympathy for Raphael’s mother. And those boys.

But for Raphael to have stepped in at what, twelve? Fourteen? I don’t like this new information. All of it clashes with what I’ve already pegged him as—an irresponsible rake.

I read too many historical romance books.

I only realize I’m staring at him once again because he looks up. This time, his eyes meet mine. And of all things, he has the audacity to wink.

I suck in a breath as my stomach has the equal audacity to do a little flip.

“You okay?” Shelby asks me. Neither of them saw. My stomach feels like an occupied clown car. “Fine. It’s just nice to see the girls having fun.”

I feel something cold against my fingers and see Deanie’s handing me a cold can of sparkling water, a soft smile on her face. My attention comes back to these women, who’re looking at me with concern. They’re bothbeing so nice to me, after I came over here filled with bitchy energy.

But apparently all it takes is a little kindness for the door to the overstuffed closet of my feelings and stress I’ve been holding shut to crack open. I press the cold can between my palms. At the concession stand it was easy to funnel those feelings into anger. Now? I swallow down the sudden thickness in my throat.

“Lana,” Shelby says. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

I can put on a game face while waiting tables no matter what’s going on. But to people who know me? I’m like an open book. I hate it. I turn my face away, feeling the prick of imminent tears. “I’m just a little stressed, that’s all. Summer’s just started and everything is still a hot mess.”

“Is it Mike? Her ex is being a dick,” Shelby explains to Deanie.

I press the can of water to the back of my neck to try to cool my embarrassment at nearly crying at the beach. Even though my ex is a deep source of stress for me, it’s not really even him that’s the hardest part. It’s doing all of this—everything—on my own. “Mike’s just the cherry on top,” I say. “It’s actually the nanny thing that’s kicking my butt.”

Shelby gapes. “You still haven’t found anyone?”

I shake my head. “It’s almost comical at this point.” So funny I could cry. My long-term nanny moved away unexpectedly last month. Every last one of us had been devastated, mostly because we loved her, but me especially. I was sure she’d be with us until the kids outgrewher. But not being able to find childcare has thrown my single-mom status into sharp relief.

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