Page 105 of Over & Out

“No, his father. About what he claims his son did. Hiring thugs and all that.”

I shake my head. “No. I mean, I don’t know.” Then I shake my head. Because I do know. “No. Hopper wouldn’t do that.” I’m sure of it, in my bones. “I’m sure he has an explanation that makes more sense than that. I just wish he’d told it to me directly.”

Dolly’s lips turn up in a sad smile as she shakes the towel out, reaching for Jess. “You know, I could always tell when Michael wasn’t telling me something.”

Michael was Dolly’s husband; Miles’s younger brother. The brothers were from Redbeard, and I know Miles well enough from the coffee shop now. But his younger brother Michael was still a good eight years older than me. He was an adult even before I left town with my dad, and he died in the states, so I never knew him. From the pictures around the house I’ve been looking at, Michael looks like a younger, leaner, smilier version of his older brother. One who was head-over-heels in love with his wife.

I grab the mesh bag to put away the bath toys, needing to hear more, desperate for some Dolly wisdom.

Dolly laughs now, remembering. “When Michael was keeping something from me, he’d get this look on his face that was just blank. Like a little kid trying so hard to look casual. It was ridiculous.”

Jess giggles as Dolly rubs her head with the towel. “It used to bother me so much,” she says. “I’d always grill him until he told me whatever it was, but it would turn into this big fight. Then, one time, I could tell he was holding back, and I just didn’t have the energy to try to break him open like I usually did. That’s when I realized what I was doing. Iwasactually breaking him. Like trying to force a flower to bloom too early.” She’s not laughing anymore, just holding Jess, wrapped in a towel, on her lap. “The thing is, that time, he told me in the end. After that, I waited. Or I asked. And he always told me, either then or later. I think now that he just needed to tell me in his own time, in his own way.”

I think of Hopper and our deal.No bullshit.He always said he’d give me a straight answer. And I know that’s not an excuse for him not volunteering the information his dad lashed out with, but I didn’t ask him directly what was going on, did I? I knew he was hanging on to something, that there was a weight on his shoulders, but I didn’t feel like it was my place.

“I’d give anything to have Michael try to protect me like that now,” Dolly says. “In fact, I’d give anything for him to be here lying his face off. Just to have him here at all.”

She laughs wetly.

“Sorry. Not about me.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, Dolly. I never reached out to you. I thought you were happier out here on your own, that you didn’t need a friend. But I see how wrong I was now.”

Dolly smiles, kissing Jess on the cheek. “It’s all right. Ireally am happy as I can be, all things considered. I’ve got my girls—the chickens, I mean.” She laughs. “And Lulu the donkey. I love my little house and doing my crafts and my homemade everything. I’m a little lonely sometimes, but that’s no one’s problem but mine.”

It’s then I realize Dolly, unlike Hopper and me, really is alone. Her family’s a thousand miles away, in a different country. And being more of a homebody, everyone assumes she’d rather be alone, just like I did. I may not have any blood relatives, but my friends are my family. Hopper’s got his team. And I know he could make friends easily if he let people in, which, since I’ve known him, I think he’s been doing more of. Maybe some small part of that was my doing—showing him he’s not the asshole everyone makes him out to be. But mostly it’s him doing the work.

If I let him, he’d have me too. We could make our own family.

I shove that thought away for the moment. It’s too huge.

Dolly gets up, and we head to her room to get Jess ready for bed. I ask Dolly to tell me a story about Michael, and she happily does. She tells me about how they met, when he fell off a horse at her family’s farm.

I don’t know how Michael died. Just that Dolly was so heartbroken she said she couldn’t stand to stay where they’d lived together. She moved up here to open the business he’d just bought with his older brother. It had been his dream, and he’d just started putting the wheels in motion for them to move back and launch it when he passed.

“It feels good seeing Michael’s dream play out in real life,” Dolly says. “He always thought his brother hung the moon.”

“I’m sorry Miles isn’t easy to be around.”

Her eyes slant. “He’s just sad too. Anyway, I’m touched you came to me, honey. I do love the way the coffee shop allows me to see my regulars. And I already considered you a friend.”

I’m so touched I don’t say anything, worried I’m going to cry yet again.

“All right, my little fishy,” Dolly says to Jess. “You ready for bed?”

When Jess hugs her, Dolly’s face is so happy, I feel my heart tug hard.

I say good night to baby Jess, squeezing her so hard she laughs uproariously. When Dolly assures me yet again that I can’t help with bedtime, I settle in the living room to wait for her. When she comes down a while later with the baby monitor, I’ve got a fire going and the champagne I picked up on ice.

“Okay,” I say. “When Lana’s back from her trip, we’re going to make it happen. Mac or Nate can watch Jessica, and we’ll have a girls’ night not at the coffee shop so we can be far away from Miles’s grouchy ass.”

Dolly looks genuinely happy. “I’d love that. Although it’d be fun to do it at the Bean Scene, on my shift. Make Miles even grouchier.”

We both laugh at that.

“So are you going to end it with him?” Dolly asks after a few minutes. Her expression’s neutral, like shewon’t judge me either way, and for that I’m deeply grateful.

But just like that, my mind—and my heart—travel right back to Hopper. “I don’t want to,” I say. “I just need some time.” For what, I’m not sure. I stare into the fire, pulling my knees to my chin. “With my dad, I wanted so badly to trust him, but in my heart, I knew he’d let me down. I know I can trust Hopper. I need him to figure out how to trust himself too.”

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