Page 7 of A Funny Thing Happened…

He made a sound in his throat, said, “You’d never have spoken to me again if Paul hadn’t dragged you into his psycho scheme.” It was not a question.

Just when I thought I was out, they pullll me back in.

But Jake was right. I would never have contacted him on my own behalf. Would never have responded to his phone calls.

I said in a voice as resolute as his own, “It’s not that I didn’t want to.”

He said gently, “I know, baby. You were in the right.”

Funny how painful being in the right can be.

I changed the subject, tried another question. “Are you fine with me hanging out with friends of the opposite sex?”

Jake gave a funny laugh. “Yep. You go right ahead and hang out with all the pretty ladies you like.”

I laughed too. “Likewise. Okay. Next question.What would you do to get out of a tough situation?Jeez. Who the hell came up with these questions?”

“For most couples, this would be theoretical.”

So true. Not for us. And there were several questions I wasn’t going to touch with a ten-foot pole:How many sexual partners have you had in the past? How many children do you want in the future? What is the one thing you would change about yourself?

Instead, I opted for: “What are your views on the reasons for unsuccessful relationships?”

Jake said with surprising promptness, “Not talking. Not listening. Failure to look at the situation from the other person’s view point.”

To give the devil his due, a failure to communicate had not been one of Jake’s weaknesses. Rarely, had I not known Jake’s feelings on any given subject.

“I appreciate that you didn’t mention amateur sleuthing.”

“Well, the truth is, you continually poking that…refined nose of yours into trouble kept us close. It accelerated everything between us. So maybe I don’t love your sleuthing, but I can’t completely regret it either.”

I felt my nose as though verifying its refinery. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“No, it’s not.”

“No, it’s not.”

“What about you?” Jake asked. “Why do you think some relationships are unsuccessful?”

“Some relationshipsshouldn’tbe successful. So that’s one thing. Communication, for sure. But also…being unable to accept the person as they are. Accepting that nobody’s perfect,andyou’ve got to be willing to give as much as you take.”

His voice sounded a little funny on his soft, “Amen.”

It was getting late, and I was getting tired ofWhat is Your Love Quotient?I glanced down and randomly picked a question.

“Which was the one incident that changed you as a person?”

Jake said wryly, “Do we only get to choose one?”

“No kidding.”

We looked at each other and smiled. Jake reached for my hand.

I woke as we bounced across the cattle guard on the dirt road leading to the Pine Shadow ranch.

I unstuck myself from the passenger side window, gazing through the windshield in wonder. In the shivery moonlight, the main house looked like something out of a dream. I could see the silvery ghost letters of the wooden sign above the open gate. The Forester’s high beams picked out the empty swing hanging from one of the large trees, the tipped-over windmill, the dilapidated barn behind the house. But sparkling ice crystals made everything look quaint and charming.

My last trip to the ranch, I’d discovered a dead man lying in the middle of this very road.

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