Page 113 of Kill Your Darlings

Not from Finn.

“Know what?”Finn’s voice brought me back to the here and now.“That T.McGregor was Milo Argyros?Or that you were liable to get yourself killed?”He softly nuzzled my temple, which softened the harshness of his words considerably.

“Either.Both.”

“You.Let’s see.You turned as white a ghost, slammed three ounces of whisky without taking a breath, and walked out of the suite like you were having a vision.Meanwhile, The Three Investigators were shouting things likeIt’s the grand reveal!andHe’s doing the final reckoning!

I snorted at the ‘Three Investigators’ crack.

“As for T.McGregor…” He hesitated and said, “I’m sorry, Keir.That’s all.Sorry it turned out like that.”

I let out a careful, controlled breath.“I think I started to put it together when you asked me all those questions about things I should have asked myself.Like, how did Dominic know to come to the graveyard that night?There were red flags but I didn’t want to see them.”

Finn nuzzled me again.It was a consoling kind of kiss.

I said, “But it’s not like I was mourning his ghost or anything.I felt affection for that boy I’d known—grief for what had happened.Or what I thought had happened.But I knew a long time ago that a big part of the attraction was that we liked the same things, that he loved talking about books and my writing and mysteries.But the main thing was, I was finally having sex with someone.Not great sex, not even good sex, but sex.”

Finn made an amused sound.“I get it.”

“And I don’t blame him for what happened back then.He didn’t force me to help him.I used my own terrible judgment.I wanted to help him because I loved him.He’s not to blame for that.”

“There we have a difference of opinion.”

“He was only a couple of months older than me.”

“And a hell of a lot more self-centered and heartless.But go on.”

It was my turn to kiss him gently because it really did bother Finn: the way that long-ago Milo had treated that long-ago Keiran.

“He didn’t come right out and say it, but I got the feeling that he’s known where to find me for a while.”

“I’m sure he did.”

“He could have let me know he was okay.It’s not like I would have wanted to start anything up.It would have been a relief to know there wasn’t someone out there who wanted me dead, too.”

Finn’s expression was somber in the moonlight.

“How did you know McGregor was Milo?”I asked again.

“I knew for sure when you walked out looking like you’d seen a ghost.I had my suspicions about McGregor—notthatsuspicion.I had no idea Milo even existed before Friday.But I was pretty sure McGregor was never a cop.He just doesn’t think like a cop.Nobody in his books thinks like a cop.Or talks like a cop.Or acts like a cop.Even a Scottish cop.Even a Scottish cop in the most outermost Outer Hebrides.In fact, that was something Hayes pointed out at McGregor’s Smoking Gun interview.His accent’s a wee bit fishy.”

I huffed my disapproval that Hayes would be that observant.

“I didn’t think a lot about it.In fact, I kind of put my antipathy down to you being so impressed by his books and his bloody prose.”

I grinned faintly at thatbloody.“Notthatimpressed.”

“You don’t talk about my books like that.If I heard one more soulful description of hissalientuse of metaphor I was going to clonk you with my thesaurus.”

I laughed.

Finn’s chest moved beneath my head as he chuckled, too.“Anyway.I thought he was a phony.And standoffish.Not that there’s anything suspicious in being reserved.I also thought there was a possibility that Troy Colby had been on this floor trying to find McGregor, not you.”

“Oh.”That had not occurred to me.

“Anyway.When you walked out, I knew.I phoned Olivares and told him I thought Colby’s murderer might be hiding in T.McGregor’s suite.”

“How did you know that?”