Blood pounds in my ears, and I'm suddenly desperate for him, my fingers pulling at his jeans. He meets my passion, pushing them down and pulling me to the edge of the counter so that we fit together. So that we can be together.
So we can both get exactly what we want.
"This is really good,"Julian says, moaning around another bite of eggplant parm. It's his second portion.
I sip my wine and watch his pleasure. "I'm so glad you like it. And I'm really sorry I avoided you." The words just spill out. I'm so relaxed right now, wearing his T-shirt and nothing else, an empty plate in front of me. I could not be more satiated.
His eyes find mine, and he smiles. "I'm glad to hear that." His gaze drops back to his plate. "So, you were afraid?"
I don't answer, instead just sip my wine again, feeling the warmth infusing my body.
"I get that," he says, bringing his eyes up again. "I think." A blush springs to his cheeks, and he looks away.
"What?" I ask, intrigued by the sudden change in color.
He shrugs, and I get to see all his muscles work to make that happen.Stealing his shirt was such a good idea.
"I'd like to spend more time with you. For us to be..." He turns his eyes to mine, and they are serious—the playful air that floats around him reined in. "Exclusive." Before I can respond, he rushes on. "I don't want to freak you out, or force you into anything. It's just—I've been at this longer than you, and I'm not into meaningless flings."
I narrow my eyes at him. “Since when?” I ask. He blinks, and I sit forward. “Sorry, but, you were, weren't you? Into flings. I mean…you have a reputation."
He shrugs again, and I drop my gaze to admire his chest until he speaks. "I was in my twenties, a huge star. So yes, Angela. I fucked around a lot. But, I'm in my thirties now. I want more."
"More than sex in my kitchen?"
He shakes his head. "Oh, no. Sex in your kitchen is all I want."
"Shhh," I hold my finger over my lips. He cocks his head. "Don't let my bed or couch hear you."
He laughs. "Fine, sex with you anywhere. Anytime. But only you."
I give a small nod. "I can do that."
"It doesn't freak you out."
"I'm not the kind of person who has sex with more than one person at a time anyway, Julian."
His eyes dart back to his food.He's had sex with other women since Shanghai.That's fine. "I thought, because I asked to hold your hand in public that day, that you..."
"Yeah, I know."I can't explain why I had to pull away.He didn't even notice the scar on my shoulder, it's so slight now. "I didn't believe it. That you'd really want me." I say it quiet, the lie feeling awkward on my lips.
He meets my gaze. "You still don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"Angela, you're one of the most desirable women on the planet. And you're only going to get bigger, more desirable. Your star is going to eclipse mine when yourStar Warsfilm comes out. Mary will probably have you do a drama after. I won't be surprised if you win an Oscar."
Oscar.The image of that bloodied statue cracks across my consciousness, and I have to drop my gaze to hide the pained expression. "Thank you," I whisper, knowing I need to respond. I take a deep breath, pushing that image away, back into the world of dreams. And I raise my gaze to Julian.
He thinks I'm just being shy about the stardom I've gained, about the brightness of my future. He doesn't understand.Is there any way I can make this work without him knowing?
Chapter Thirteen
I'm waitingon my balcony in the dull, gray light of dawn, watching for the car to pull up. The air is dusty with smoke from the fires. I scroll through my phone’s news app, Archie warm in my lap.
The largest fire tornado in California history killed a firefighter last night. I hit play on the video. A whirling inferno blasts across my small screen, sending a shiver over my body.
The fear that man must have felt as that monster came at him.One hundred and sixty-five miles per hour…temperatures in the center of the vortex reaching 2700 degrees.