What a weird question to ask, but as with anything, I rarely deny people access to my body. “Yeah, sure.”
Raffe cautiously wraps his arms around me, careful to keep his hands high across my shoulder blades. When I don’t protest, he pulls me close.
My eyes fall closed, and my body breathes an instant sigh of relief. Because while I don’t know him very well, his intentions feel innocent, not icky.
It’s nice. Safe.
When I hear Jesse and Dirk walk in, I quickly back away from him.
I don’t want them to get the wrong idea. Really, I wasn’t trying to entice him.
“Oh, this is beautiful,” Jesse says, picking up the hair pin from the table. “I’ve never been able to figure these damn things out.”
“It’s easy,” I tell her, stepping toward the table, thankful for her interruption. “My nanny taught me.”
She takes a seat, and I pull her long silver black strands into my hands. I twist and pin, admiring how soft her hair is. It’s very pretty. “I have a pin at home that would look beautiful in your hair.” My words fall flat, imagining all of my things being packed away by strangers.
Jesse heads to the bathroom to check out my handiwork. When she comes back out, she pulls it from her hair. “You’re a magician. There’s no way I’d be able to recreate that on my own.” She hands it back to me. “Let me watch you do it.”
I stand in front of her, reaching behind me and pulling my hair through the palm of my hand. I go slow, showing her just how my nanny showed me.
She pats my shoulder. “I love it. You look good with your hair up.”
I’m about to open my mouth that I look terrible with my hair up when I catch Raffe’s eye. His jaw clenches, and I know he’s getting ready to call me out for talking down to myself.
I force a smile on my face. “Thank you. I think I’m going to go outside for a bit,” I tell her as I back out of the room. I grab my pen and journal and scurry out the door.
Raffe gives me about an hour reprieve before interrupting me. He hovers over my shoulder. “You’re not hiding out here, are you?”
I snap the book closed. He doesn’t need to know that I’ve been out here doing nothing more than doodling.
“I’ve been thinking,” he begins.
It makes me laugh lightly. “You’ll never figure me out, Raffe. You’ll think yourself right into insanity.”
He ignores my remark. “Why don’t you ever come on to anyone at the club?”
“I … I don’t know.”
“You had a perfect opportunity to make a move on me today, and you didn’t,” he continues.
“No offense, but you’re old.” I glance away, knowing damn well I’ve slept with men older than him.
He laughs. “I’ve looked at myself in the mirror, hun. I know I’ve still got it.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself.” But he’s not lying. The man is fine as fuck. “Besides, how do you know I haven’t come on to anyone at the club?”
My mind races to find an example, but nobody comes to mind. He’s right. I can’t even remember a time I considered it. Surely I’ve at least flirted with one of them.
“Have you?” he asks.
“No,” I say, my brain still searching, not believing the results of its own conclusion.
“Why?”
It makes me angry that he’s trying to make me think about all of this stuff. “Maybe because you’re all a bunch of dicks.” Which is the biggest lie I’ve ever told, and I feel terrible for even saying it out loud.
Raffe doesn’t take offense. His head falls back and he laughs loudly, scaring a group of starlings from a nearby tree.