Page 130 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part One

“And just like when you got into that riptide, the more you fight, the more danger you put yourself in. Except this time, the danger is with your heart. And hers, too.”

Damn. That’s some straight Toni Morrison shit right there.

“Find peace within yourself. Allow yourself a moment to breathe and bare your heart to her. Don’t fight against her fears. Embrace them. And if she’s anywhere good enough for my boy or as smart as you say she is, she’ll see the right choice.”

A cloud rolls in front of the sun, causing the room to dim.

“Stop fighting and surrender to the waves, baby,” she finishes.

I pull my phone from my pocket when it buzzes and frown when Axel’s name appears.

Surrender to the waves… Maybe that means allowing myself to stop spinning around this shit with my father and focus on what really matters.

Shae.

I manageto make it a week before caving.

I’m surprised I make it that long. After leaving my mom, I spent another three days in my apartment. The only time I left was for a fight Riale tried to talk me out of.

I won, but not because of skill. My anger and aggression all channeled through my fists, and I didn’t stop until the promoter and four other fighters pulled me off my bloody opponent.

Otherwise, all I could do was sit with myself, and in the process, one thing became clear: this isn’tjustabout me, and it’s notjustabout Shae. It’s aboutus.

It’s about this thing forming between us that I don’t understand, that seems too big to contain.

Call it love, call it obsession, but whatever it is, it’s undeniable.

At some point, she and I will have to face it.

True to my word, I gave Shae space to process her thoughts and decide what the hell she wants out of life, out of her future, out of our relationship. I’d all but confessed my biggest sin, the one I’d commit over and over if it means she’s okay.

There’s a loud, irrepressible part of myself that knows on a soul level it’s my job to protect Shae.

That I’ll raze anyone to the ground to keep her safe.

I told her the last time we spoke that when I’m around her, my thoughts go haywire, and all I can focus on is her.

The space is a good thing for me, too.

But now it’s time to talk, because if there’s one thing I can conclude from the discussion with my mom, it’s that I can’t stay in the middle of a riptide forever. I either have to find my way out of the chaos…or let myself be dragged under completely.

Whichever way Shae Rivers and I are meant to flow, it’ll be determined here.

Tonight.

I just have to get the balls to stop staring at her door and take action.

“Get it together, Sandoval,” I mutter in the empty hallway.

Wow, I’ve turned into a cavemanandI’m losing my mind.

I try to control my breathing and my nerves when I knock. It takes her at least two minutes to open the door.

A vice tightens around my chest when I finally see her.

“Hey,” I say, annoyed I can’t think of a better opening.

Shifting her weight to her right hip, she crosses one leg over the other, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from pouncing on her. She’s in jersey-knit shorts and a worn T-shirt, and her smooth, velvety legs are on full display.

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